Intimacy: Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to... - FML

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

agreeclassic 29 603

vote type 1 11 176

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By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

hXcsoccerplaya 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:40

those nightmares must suck balls! heh heh

perdix 29

Monday 7 December 2009 2:50

Whatever you do, don't go see "The Nutcracker!" You'll have another nightmare and completely crush your 'nads!

Comments

Melissaluvsyou 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 5:27

Dude. i am so sorry lol that sucks like soo freakin bad.

dochoc_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:21

you're pretty sad. you should just put yourself out of your own misery

anonymous45610 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 1:03

oh my god

Slayer567 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 12:04

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

live_life22 0

Monday 29 March 2010 3:39

AHAHAHAHA@!!!!!!! ANOTHER CANADA!!!!! AHAHA!!!

nerf456 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:53

ball sucker!!!!!

superfly957 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 5:51

1st! oh ya! and ya ur life sucks

juliamack13 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:20

YDI for masturbating

steveo1992 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 2:05

hahahaahahahahahha wow how do you pull that off? lol

zerosk8ter999 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 9:43

wow now that's funny. bet u won't fall asleep doing that again lol

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML

agreeclassic 524

vote type 1 105

Today, my soon-to-be step-daughter had as absolute meltdown at our rehearsal dinner, screaming that I ruined her family. Her parents were divorced 10 years before I even met him. Her mother was there because we’re friends. She’s 23 years-old. I honestly don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed. FML

agreeclassic 1 378

vote type 1 95

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

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Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

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Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

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Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML

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