Animals: Today, I discovered that dogs can menstruate. Today, I also spent... - FML

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By NotSoGreatGatsby - 29/09/2016 12:45 - United States

Today, I discovered that dogs can menstruate. Today, I also spent an hour scrubbing a 3-foot-long bloodstain out of my mattress that set in while I was sleeping last night. FML

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Rox22_fml 13

Friday 30 September 2016 9:26

Well you obviously didn't do your homework before getting a female dog. She's on heat, if she mates she will get pregnant. Best to get her fixed if you don't want puppies or adapt some nappies for the meantime.

Nabexis 9

Friday 30 September 2016 10:25

And this is why you get your dog spayed.

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shredder133 14

Monday 10 October 2016 20:09

You can use baby diapers and some onesies to fashion an outfit that prevents her from leaving blood around the house. I had to do that before with my old dog and t worked great.

Aurora94 20

Tuesday 11 October 2016 12:27

All mammals do...

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Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

agreeclassic 46 525

vote type 1 6 282

Today, I went shopping with my friend. The store was having a special where if you spend over $75 you receive a free T-shirt. I paid for my items and my total was over $75. The salesman didn't hand me a shirt so I asked him for one. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry, we only have Mediums." FML

agreeclassic 61 448

vote type 1 7 418

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

agreeclassic 468

vote type 1 93

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

agreeclassic 43 503

vote type 1 3 890

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

agreeclassic 10 242

vote type 1 22 752

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine!" I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car, and they drove off. FML

agreeclassic 34 567

vote type 1 5 564