Love: Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come...

By dude - 20/01/2009 14:01 - France

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 541

You deserved it 28 983

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Same thing different taste

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 399

You deserved it 103 287

I'll get the kettle on

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got locked out of my house while wearing pyjamas. I didn’t have my phone, so I had to ask my neighbour to call a locksmith. She insisted on chatting at me for an hour about her love life, while I sat there waiting desperately for the locksmith in my dinosaur-print pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 191

Looking good

By Alex - 31/07/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 541

You played yourself

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 20:00

Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 75

Memories

By exasperated - 17/04/2014 03:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 210

You deserved it 4 625

Still on the hook

By Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 053

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 038

You deserved it 31 786

By Honest mistake - 18/04/2018 05:00

Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 5 230

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 966

You deserved it 7 037

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 21 623

maiden_girl 5

Saturday 14 February 2009 16:10

Hahaha! You must've really pissed her off... what did you do exactly that made you an asshole? I'm curious now.

deartragedy51 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 7:58

psh. i should have done the exact thing with my ex. xD

Comments

Grettel 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 3:21

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! How funny!!! You should tell her something and be like "ha I'm funny to bitch!" lmao

slacker37815 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 0:53

Dude how bout u let ur balls drop and get over it, she's your ex, what have u been sheltered ur whole life?!

hellosies 0

Monday 8 June 2009 5:23

Your ex is hilarious!

amatoryangel 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:27

while this is hilarious.. pajamas* :)

BBkid 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 7:40

OOOOOOO!!!! U probly r an asshole!!! Haha she told u

rihannalover 0

Friday 17 July 2009 14:53

you shoulda said "why do you need my pajamas for that?" haha

Shyman4ever 0

Monday 3 August 2009 20:35

Your ex WINS! You got pwned badly.

capricaz 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 16:54

ROFL I am so sorry but I am going to steal this line from your ex and use it when needed :D

Caayouteepie 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 19:56

then you respond, "sweetheart you dont need my clothes to look like an asshole".

pee_my_pants 0

Friday 4 September 2009 2:31

LOL at 36! Yeah learn to get verbal skills like #36

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 538

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 133

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 349

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 5 502

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 2 993

Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 361