Intimacy: Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over...

By homersgirl - 30/09/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

agreeclassic 29 376

vote type 1 5 136

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

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By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

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By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

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By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

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Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

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Sore loser

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 02:15 - Australia - Picton

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

agreeclassic 39 079

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By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

agreeclassic 38 389

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By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

agreeclassic 29 712

vote type 1 6 410

thatpianoguy612 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:12

That. Is. Awesome.

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?

Comments

Bloodknight 22

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:08

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

turkishjew 0

Monday 25 July 2011 4:21

bloodknight thinks that cuz he never been laid

missonedirection 6

Friday 6 April 2012 18:50

ahahahaha 75, clever ! lol

crazytiger16 8

Wednesday 29 August 2012 6:57

Doesn't matter, had sex!!! :D

melkymac101 17

Tuesday 18 March 2014 3:23

Whoever this is, I love you

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:09

first

degco44 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 0:01

You're the second, smart one. Epic fail.

pittspens 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 2:35

HAHA. EPIC.

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:11

fourth

thatpianoguy612 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:12

That. Is. Awesome.

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:13

sixth

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

eighth

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:16

ninth

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:18

tenth bitch

youaresofucked 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:18

What made it amazing? Just to clarify....

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I discovered an open wound right above my penis. I can’t put a Bandaid on it because the hair down there repels it. There’s something repulsive about seeing something like that on your own body, especially when you just want to jerk off. FML

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Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

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And they say romance is dead…

Woof woof

Sore loser

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