Intimacy: Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk...

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 840

You deserved it 26 548

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 657

You deserved it 4 813

Wasted moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 1 396

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 057

You deserved it 12 808

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 219

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 86 770

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 605

You deserved it 88 998

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 349

You deserved it 57 843

With friends like these…

By marz88 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 109

You deserved it 7 254

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 582

You deserved it 3 050

zebra_pillow 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

its_milly_silly 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!

Comments

cisco13k 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 8:32

u should be glad she passed out. u might be in jail rite now for taking advantage of a drunk girl. where r ur morals man u were obviously sober enough to drive, thats just wrong

enfuego126 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 6:33

who cares if she passed out. **** her anyways. what she doesn't know won't hurt her

cjHidalgo 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 21:12

your an idiot everyone knows to *** a drunk girl b4 she falls asleep

timk_fml 2

Sunday 28 February 2010 19:40

Hello -- easy solution. Wake her up!

sasko 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 20:06

You can be happy you atleast got that.

zooter40 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 19:48

that's rape dawg... YDI

silentmusic 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 6:17

awww, that's cute. you should apriciate it

kar568 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 23:51

YOu should have just f*cked her while she was asleep!

oMissMurdero 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 5:39

Allrighty then, Edward Cullen.

tencentsakiss 19

Friday 16 April 2010 11:56

Honestly, I hate to let you in on the secret, but she probably did what most of us girls have done at some point when we've been drunk. Are you sure that she wasn't just pretending to pass out so she wouldn't have to deal with you trying to sleep with her? Seriously, horny guys are so annoying sometimes. Why was she so flirty at first? Did I mention we can be ****** for attention, even when we aren't interested. Sorry :/