Alcohol, Drunk, Gross Health The Hangover

The Hangover

Anonymous - - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Geyser Söze

Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

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The mouthfeel

rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

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Connaisseur

Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

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First impressions

medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

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TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

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sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

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Chemistry

Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

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Drunken mess

SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

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disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

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Pissed

whoops -

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

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knsy 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:59

Billy Mays would have had a field day on that shit.

VorpikeII 17

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:57

Your fault? Or did someone else regurgitate the wine?

Llamacod 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 19:57

Are we talking red or white wine?

bchatzis 9

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:06

at least you didnt wake up swimming in the stuff

doglover569 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:27

That's an odd sex fetish... ;)

dangler1108 2

Friday 23 March 2012 3:12

Kinky one at that

juicifer 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:35

Now it's a party!

OFWGKTADGAF666 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:35

That's hot..

Rhcjdjmx 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:45

Bottles can reguritate

sparkjolt 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:54

if it's red wine you could use regurgitated white wine to clean it? :D

Skelebitch 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 21:35

Why do the majority of these sex and alcohol related FMLs come from Jersey? I've been noticing that lately. I blame Jersey Shore.

zoecw 14

Thursday 22 March 2012 22:07

Honeymooning?

Klaves66 2

Thursday 22 March 2012 22:55

i hope it was white wine

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Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

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Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

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Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

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Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

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Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

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Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

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