Intimacy: Smooth talking

Smooth talking

By ...thanks honey - 18/08/2010 06:23 - United States

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 700

You deserved it 15 076

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Same thing different taste

Dorito Man

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 992

You deserved it 7 692

Classic dude moment

By Two hundred down - 06/08/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband hasn’t touched me in ages. I bought sexy lingerie and walked around the house in them. My husband wouldn’t budge. When I asked him why he didn't want to get physical, he told me, “You want me to be honest? Do some sit ups and butt squats, then I’ll be all over you like cheese on macaroni.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 317

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 277

You deserved it 7 793

OCD

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 13:53 - Australia

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 551

You deserved it 5 772

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 328

You deserved it 4 762

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 836

You deserved it 3 584

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 235

You deserved it 4 116

By Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 598

You deserved it 249

Meh

By Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 190

You deserved it 8 559

Belly Finger

By ihmmil - 18/01/2020 14:00

Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 494

You deserved it 331

briannak91 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 16:07

:( you poor thing.

KVKdragon 26

Wednesday 18 August 2010 16:07

comments like that make me wonder why men say that. does the man want sex or not?

Comments

chrissaaababy 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 21:40

and here comes her eating disorder....

Loewsey 8

Wednesday 18 August 2010 22:37

Ouch.. FYL op!

Storm27 3

Wednesday 18 August 2010 22:39

probably a hint to hit the gym

philopastry 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 22:47

Please, please tell him that that was just absolutely horrible....Only lose weight if you feel YOU want to, in the meantime sex starve your bastard of a husaband..Im sorry op :(

lookatyou 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:01

you should talk about this on oprah...

ladouche182 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:05

naaa! he sucks! every women is perfect exactly the way they are.

kombucha_fml 8

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:14

sorry to say that, but your husband is an asshole.

whojustsaidthat 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:18

It sounds like someone needs to re-evaluate your marriage

realangelofdeath 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 0:03

people are being so mean!! poor op, I'm sorry your husband is a jerk.

decerpitexsilent 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 1:00

you know what. he should love you no matter your weight. there are many guys out there that would love to come home to find there wife in lingerie...so by you supplying that for him...he should consider himself one of the luckiest men on the face of the planet...and if he doesn't, well then he doesn't deserve you