Health, Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Sexy

Sexy

By Anonymous - 23/05/2014 02:36 - United States - Rockland

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

agreeclassic 54 682

vote type 1 17 205

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By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

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mt631 18

Friday 23 May 2014 15:31

I'm sure he wasn't too pumped about the lap dance after that.

Vintage_Cola 29

Friday 23 May 2014 15:31

Holy shit! I hope he's okay! FYL

Comments

wtffml1979 22

Monday 26 May 2014 5:38

This couldn't be made up at all. Damn fbyl

MadMitch 2

Tuesday 27 May 2014 3:37

A girl accidentally did that to me too... On my birthday

focenspeil 7

Wednesday 28 May 2014 11:26

I wonder if his FML is somewhere on here.

lollypop624 11

Saturday 7 June 2014 0:01

OUCH!!!

bloo_isanonymous 11

Tuesday 10 June 2014 2:47

Automatic turn off

sirdano 3

Thursday 19 June 2014 23:27

it caught on your penis?

somegirl10210 3

Tuesday 1 July 2014 15:05

Yeah that's happened to me before except it was my insulin pump that got ripped out :p

camobabe66 3

Saturday 5 July 2014 0:08

If someone ripped mine out, ever, I'd cry. That's a bitch to put back in

annarcheer 19

Thursday 21 August 2014 4:42

that's hot.. hope he's OK girl

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 October 2014 12:08

Maybe that wasn't the best idea...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

agreeclassic 164 974

vote type 1 11 608

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

agreeclassic 42 422

vote type 1 2 261

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

agreeclassic 47 803

vote type 1 5 278

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

agreeclassic 30 637

vote type 1 5 087

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

agreeclassic 36 021

vote type 1 14 117

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 68 860

vote type 1 10 936