Sex, Romantic and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

agreeclassic 61 336

vote type 1 8 510

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

agreeclassic 41 690

vote type 1 9 748

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

agreeclassic 286 075

vote type 1 68 252

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

agreeclassic 29 325

vote type 1 48 698

You tried

By Anonymous - 24/08/2021 14:01

Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML

agreeclassic 830

vote type 1 672

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

agreeclassic 24 239

vote type 1 42 529

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

agreeclassic 37 698

vote type 1 13 306

The inner light

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

agreeclassic 1 508

vote type 1 635

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

agreeclassic 27 270

vote type 1 8 036

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

agreeclassic 30 973

vote type 1 6 547

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

agreeclassic 32 361

vote type 1 4 617

The_Water_Ninja 9

Sunday 7 July 2013 10:35

sounds charming...

datgamerchick 14

Sunday 7 July 2013 10:35

Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!

Comments

amifaiyaz 12

Wednesday 10 July 2013 3:45

That's hot.

asia3pea90 13

Wednesday 10 July 2013 14:54

That's ******* discusting...that's not even cute...

Thorzix 23

Thursday 11 July 2013 3:04

disgusting* but I agree.

scifichic92 8

Thursday 11 July 2013 4:54

That is just hilarious!

kobykai 3

Monday 15 July 2013 20:35

Everybody loves sloppy joes!

stitesy29 18

Wednesday 14 August 2013 6:20

Nice pun!

FlickWaffle 30

Thursday 14 November 2013 8:36

under other circumstances, what he said would have been hilarious!

gameguy118 1

Wednesday 12 February 2014 2:04

I just can't stop laughing! TOO FUNNY!

itsbatmanxoxo 7

Tuesday 17 June 2014 6:38

I was eating Cheerios and almost choked from laughing

weveallbeenthere 30

Thursday 11 September 2014 0:39

lol, did it work. made me laugh for 5 minutes.

kittykat1501 31

Monday 27 July 2015 5:17

That's actually impressive lol

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Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

agreeclassic 18 911

vote type 1 59 704

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

agreeclassic 18 604

vote type 1 36 245

Today, my friend started talking about Hunter Biden’s laptop, again. I told him if all that hearsay and conjecture is true, we should definitely never elect him to public office. His response? “No, you don’t understand…” and started all over again. FML

agreeclassic 752

vote type 1 356

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

agreeclassic 27 562

vote type 1 3 430

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

agreeclassic 21 802

vote type 1 7 033

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

agreeclassic 37 719

vote type 1 3 828