Animals and Painful: Red or grey? - FML

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

agreeclassic 122

vote type 1 1 401

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Similar FMLs

I hate hiking now

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

agreeclassic 161

vote type 1 425

Life ain't a Disney movie

By Phil - 06/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML

agreeclassic 72

vote type 1 858

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

agreeclassic 30 065

vote type 1 6 014

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

agreeclassic 38 115

vote type 1 10 934

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML

agreeclassic 245

vote type 1 135

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

agreeclassic 36 039

vote type 1 6 590

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

agreeclassic 28 493

vote type 1 15 532

Not so cute

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML

agreeclassic 121

vote type 1 449

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

agreeclassic 226

vote type 1 936

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

agreeclassic 31 695

vote type 1 5 355

Next

TOP COMMENTS

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 February 2023 2:01

It thought you were a nut. Just like the rest of us do.

cuz803 44

Saturday 11 February 2023 2:23

Tryan take a selfie with a squirrel? Are you nuts? What made you wanna do that?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 February 2023 2:01

It thought you were a nut. Just like the rest of us do.

cuz803 44

Saturday 11 February 2023 2:23

Tryan take a selfie with a squirrel? Are you nuts? What made you wanna do that?

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 11 February 2023 3:13

Tonight on Fox: "When Animals Attack: Selfie Edition". Just how drunk or high were you to think this would end well? Please be more careful, this is Darwin Award territory.

JackWood 20

Saturday 11 February 2023 3:23

Sometimes you feel like a nut!

Charlie Given 26

Saturday 11 February 2023 14:09

Sometimes you don't!!! 🤣

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Today, I needed to buy a new crash helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

agreeclassic 22 108

vote type 1 9 021

Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML

agreeclassic 10 992

vote type 1 32 227

Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML

agreeclassic 544

vote type 1 136

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

agreeclassic 32 743

vote type 1 9 393

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

agreeclassic 7 930

vote type 1 81 588

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

agreeclassic 55 387

vote type 1 2 648