Miscellaneous: Pissed

Pissed

By wurtabang - 09/02/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 482

You deserved it 3 114

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Same thing different taste

Wet leg

By meep - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 089

You deserved it 497

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 6 678

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 446

You deserved it 3 614

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 785

You deserved it 3 766

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 198

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 151

You deserved it 3 304

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 655

You deserved it 46 051

Not lovin' it.

By Anonymous - 17/07/2018 01:30

Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 038

You deserved it 309

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 432

By Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 093

You deserved it 4 741

summerloolooloo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:08

So you would rather have his nasty peepee all over your pants then?

zombzomb 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:12

what does him being chubby have anything to do with it?

Comments

rgouvs 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 13:45

and you'd rather it was pants ! LOL

toyotasmash 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:12

I didn't know it was anatomically possible to "pee violently"

Qluz 3

Thursday 21 October 2010 7:45

im going to pee violently from now on

chameleon724 8

Thursday 2 June 2011 3:44

THANK YOU, 117. And seriously, don't you think there's a reason people are telling you that?

rozieslothinator 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:42

tell him to take it easy!

ninidunut 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 0:50

am I the only person who laughed at the thought of someone 'peeing violentlu'?

qwerty357 0

Friday 29 July 2011 21:19

fyl dude

spitfiretinkerbe 9

Thursday 1 December 2011 10:45

Actually it's not as bad as you think as you can wipe urine off your leg whereas wearing long pants means your stuck with it for the whole day.

McLovin2320 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:48

Either way, shorts or pants, it would have sucked. People would've seen "stains" on your pants. But fyl

KBurns207 17

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:03

How does one "Violently" pee exactly? Lol

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The Top

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 80 659

Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 582

You deserved it 173

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 093

You deserved it 5 213

Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 183

You deserved it 697

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 639

You deserved it 202

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 324

You deserved it 4 395