Miscellaneous: Not now! - FML

Not now!

By annonymous - 30/11/2009 18:59 - United States

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

agreeclassic 52 375

vote type 1 3 514

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External validation

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

agreeclassic 444

vote type 1 105

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

agreeclassic 43 722

vote type 1 5 502

By UglyGirl - 08/11/2015 09:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML

agreeclassic 20 385

vote type 1 1 949

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

agreeclassic 379

vote type 1 104

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

agreeclassic 58 040

vote type 1 8 267

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

agreeclassic 37 846

vote type 1 2 626

Health and wellbeing

By fuck - 21/08/2015 18:22 - United States - Somerville

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

agreeclassic 24 073

vote type 1 6 494

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

agreeclassic 34 198

vote type 1 2 868

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 06:49 - United States

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

agreeclassic 26 946

vote type 1 1 844

Sibling rivalry

By Mayo baby - 19/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML

agreeclassic 404

vote type 1 141

Next

TOP COMMENTS

popoman 0

Monday 30 November 2009 23:14

That's not nice. Don't reprimand your child for honesty.

testing_fml 0

Monday 30 November 2009 23:15

haha, I would have trouble not to laugh if' I were you.

Comments

emilybock 0

Saturday 1 May 2010 6:18

HAHAHA awe

brianjman14 22

Monday 3 May 2010 22:10

rofl

duzzyfucks 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 4:07

LOL. that's hilarious

LeeRichie 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 4:00

whoops, wrong aisle

jkpajama 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 6:46

lol that's so funny

courtsx 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 19:57

This is hilarious!

solomonislands24 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 12:20

Not your fault the lady can't put down the cookie.

whitecloud197 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:18

hahahaha. ohh man 3 yr old kid ftw. thats funny.

kaliehuebner 2

Friday 24 June 2011 4:30

That's when you saw aw it's so cute I didn't see it before!

NDiesal10 2

Monday 12 September 2011 21:25

Obese woman's fault for being fat.

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Today, I had a substitute for science and I was standing at the stationary table when some other guy came over and made the thing wobble. The whole thing fell over and I got all the blame. Then I was sitting with my friends at lunch but another friend came back right when my crush was gonna sit next to me. FML

agreeclassic 292

vote type 1 149

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

agreeclassic 9 362

vote type 1 54 833

Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML

agreeclassic 1 821

vote type 1 120

Today, I flew cross-country. Since the movers with my furniture and car won't arrive for 2 weeks, I packed several bags with most of my clothes and charging cords. The airline lost them. FML

agreeclassic 3 220

vote type 1 205

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

agreeclassic 15 851

vote type 1 127 687

Today, I went to the local emergency room, upon recommendation of my psychiatrist, because I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. They sent me home because there were no beds available. FML

agreeclassic 527

vote type 1 111