Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 452 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I learned what a "pain in the ass" means. I sat down on my patio swing chair, only to discover it was swarming with baby wasps, who stung me all over the butt. Ouch! FML I agree, your life sucks 1 655 You deserved it 241
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. Five seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 674 You deserved it 638
Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 836 You deserved it 4 080
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 591 You deserved it 35 758
Today, on holiday with family, it is now abundantly clear to me that being the oldest teenager I was only brought along as free babysitter for 8 cousins, all under 10 years-old, while the adults lounge by the pool, buffet, or hotel bar. I’m exhausted. I want to go home. FML I agree, your life sucks 869 You deserved it 154
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 714
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?