Health It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

Anonymous - 14/06/2018 20:30

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Carmen - 26/02/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

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LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

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Drying times

helplesssssss - - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

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Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

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Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

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Bad start to the day

Concussed - - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

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BO Central

jess - 16/12/2020 06:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

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Slicy slicy

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

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lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

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Snow day

Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

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TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:27

Sounds like the shit hit the fan ... and then you.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:49

Instant mud mask? love it.

PenguinPal3017 19

Friday 15 June 2018 2:30

Shower, moisturize, repeat.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

weeping_willow 25

Friday 15 June 2018 5:22

At least you didn’t sit down in urine!

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 15 June 2018 6:01

Those help exfoliate your body.

Davros 12

Friday 15 June 2018 7:43

Sounds like you need to scrub more than just your ass

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML

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Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

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Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

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Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

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Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

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Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

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