Miscellaneous Weird I'm a loser baby - FML

I'm a loser baby

cooldude - - United States

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

You what now?

ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

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Anonymous - 10/09/2013 13:23 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was called a "disabled buzzkill" for not letting someone pet my service dog. FML

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regstl - 01/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Beaverton

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

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never thought I'd say that - 22/08/2013 19:05 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

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Anonymous - 05/05/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

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adieuvelib - 15/10/2011 01:53 - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

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insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

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ICanExplain - 22/06/2015 20:46 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

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Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

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OwNowBrownCow 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 19:05

old men with pink flip flops that ride purple mopeds are the most badass people ever. don't ness with them if you value your life

jjtivey97 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 20:12

to everyone who is wondering what caused the old man to say this; the op was wearing purple flip flops and driving a pink moped

alicia_was_here 3

Friday 2 July 2010 3:24

well, that obviously says something about YOU, op. hahaha

ATLBOI770 0

Friday 2 July 2010 3:45

the old man a pimp purple mopad pink slippers n talking smack to u :D

lafingman0 5

Friday 2 July 2010 4:17

sounds like you got trolled =D

dave3 3

Friday 2 July 2010 4:40

161 u look wicked awesome

allplayedout 20

Friday 2 July 2010 4:58

compared to him, we are all losers.

V_hungover 0

Friday 2 July 2010 5:27

I love it. I laughed so much!

gingersnapper 0

Friday 2 July 2010 5:43

YDI. You shoulda known better than to try to out-queen a guy on a purple moped.

horrorcane 0

Friday 2 July 2010 6:31

I think I saw that guy on people of walmart

Fmylife62 0

Friday 2 July 2010 7:36

Lmao, if you're considered a loser then imagine what he is considered...

usmcbunny 0

Friday 2 July 2010 7:56

...They don't actually talk, mang D: Mishka can't talk, a dog's brain doesn't work that way. It's a party trick, nothing more... If Mishka could actually speak, the government would have stolen her by now >->

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

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Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

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Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

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Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

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Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

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Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

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