Work: I hate people

I hate people

By lpspann87 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 506

You deserved it 2 636

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Same thing different taste

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 4 154

TW: Gross

By mpfrost153 - 01/11/2021 12:00 - United States

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 131

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 842

You deserved it 4 922

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 169

The sweet smell of success

By joshua - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 146

You deserved it 2 829

Leaky ballon knot

By Kelly - 21/01/2026 03:00

Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 110

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 4 045

By Stinkbomber - 24/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 908

You deserved it 478

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 940

You deserved it 208

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 139

You deserved it 1 739

bfsd42 20

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Shove a cork up his ass.

heavymetalman1 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Sounds kinda shitty...sorry op

Comments

luckyspades 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:21

that really blows a load

granpa_haribo 13

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:22

Don't worry, he'll die soon enough

walrusman 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:23

Ha! This is why I love fat people

Daddymo 14

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:48

Don't worry, he'll be dead soon :-)

macleod2486 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 8:09

That blows, sucks to have to work with a dumbass like that.

angela3222 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 8:13

Why does this remind me of the episode of The Office when Michael gets crap put into his office by his "friend."

brandonz404 1

Sunday 25 September 2011 8:17

diebetes has nothing to do with it, ive got it and i eat what i want.

Jaxx66 21

Sunday 25 September 2011 8:49

Like what? I have an insulin dependant friend who is an alcoholic and loves ice cream. I'm just waiting for him to lose a limb so I can yell ' I ******* kept warning you, dumbass! Don't whine to me. You gonna change now?' That's all his co worker needs. To lose a foot. That'll learn 'im

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:11

You know what else is hard to resist (assuming you've had it before)? Crack.

thejedi08 10

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:50

diabetes has nothing to do with gas! TRUST ME! skinny people get gas too... also, People WITH diabetes CAN eat whataburger they just cant eat alot of sugars. stop hating on him and DO YOUR ******* JOB! YDI for posting this!