Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous How? Why?

How? Why?

Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

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Cringe

mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

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Sitcom vibes

Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

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Gushing

Anonymous - 11/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML

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Can't hold it in anymore

Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

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Noise machine

achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

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Sorry, little dude

dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

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what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

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Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

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bonnmo - 11/11/2018 11:30 - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

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HELP!

SeatofIgnorance -

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

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alyssa_22 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:21

Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?

iammeanttolive 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:14

Shit happens. (:

paperplanes92 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:36

#6 u sexist idiot..

lemon_squeezy 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:39

lmao you must literally be retarded if this is real

mellow_yellow 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:41

always take a dump in the uglier toilet

Gringo_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:41

#12, he's not sexist, AT ALL, he described her as stupid and a woman, he did not say anything against women as a whole. Agree with #3, i call bullshit...

paperplanes92 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:52

i ment #7 #7 is a sexist idiot

Sloan_The_Great 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:58

Oh no!!!! that really sucks, but hopefully, you and your family can laugh about it later

anashaalmajiid 0

Friday 13 March 2009 0:07

hahahah thats hilarious

fmladdict9214 0

Friday 13 March 2009 0:07

biggg hint that it's not hooked up: no water. you're definitely Einstein. oh, and you picked the prettier toilet? umm, yeah i call BS on this one. sort of sad that everything on here is pretty much made up.