Hey guys Anonymous - - New Zealand - Auckland Today, the cockroach infestation at my house has gotten so bad that I can now tell the difference between male and female cockroaches. FML 23 352 4 456
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML 61 371 5 157
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML 14 296 31 582
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML 32 178 3 785
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML 31 705 2 829
Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML 240 347
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML 457 98
Yeah, those infestations get so bad once you decide to breed with them and have little half-human-half-cockroach hybrids scuttling around.
I'd just burn the house down.