Heavy session last night?

By TaintedL0v3 - 11/03/2020 12:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML

agreeclassic 1 228

vote type 1 227

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Similar FMLs

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

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Gotta have it

By kp. - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

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How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

agreeclassic 643

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Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

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Mouth malfunction

By Melanie - 08/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML

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Chip on your shoulder

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 400

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By brittholzworth - 27/06/2019 20:00

Today, I found some cookies on my bed and got so excited that I kneed myself in my face. FML

agreeclassic 1 180

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By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

agreeclassic 19 396

vote type 1 6 730

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

agreeclassic 13 783

vote type 1 38 606

Robert Cruikshank 7

Wednesday 11 March 2020 22:02

Twist them off. Super glue has not strength when you twist.

ahabsfan 15

Wednesday 11 March 2020 13:08

Unless you were tied down to an ant hill I don’t see the problem here.

Comments

ahabsfan 15

Wednesday 11 March 2020 13:08

Unless you were tied down to an ant hill I don’t see the problem here.

Charlie Coffman_1920149595 18

Wednesday 11 March 2020 21:34

That's sweet

Robert Cruikshank 7

Wednesday 11 March 2020 22:02

Twist them off. Super glue has not strength when you twist.

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 11 March 2020 23:04

You know it's been a good party when...

Itsheragain 9

Thursday 12 March 2020 3:28

you sure you dont have a dog?

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Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

agreeclassic 31 759

vote type 1 4 400

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

agreeclassic 50 909

vote type 1 3 495

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

agreeclassic 27 629

vote type 1 3 011

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 25 816

vote type 1 3 298

Today, I was admiring a hot surfer with my friend when he approached us. I was prepared to give him my number but instead he said, “If I was staring at you two in your bikinis the way you two were ogling me, i’d go to jail. I’m old enough to know your dad by the way, have some respect.” FML

agreeclassic 151

vote type 1 1 603

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

agreeclassic 44 843

vote type 1 6 011