Foot in mouth - FML

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 00:00

Today, I made an offhand comment to a close friend about having to keep a close eye on my toddler so he “doesn’t kill himself.” As the words escaped my lips, I realized that this was the same friend whose husband shot himself in the face five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 80

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Same thing different taste

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 439

News to me

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to, "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 3 008

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 06:49 - United Kingdom - Middlewich

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 457

You deserved it 3 248

By um - 08/02/2011 00:54

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 557

You deserved it 8 007

By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 15:51 - Netherlands - Sevenum

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 227

You deserved it 2 218

Good question

By only child says fuck you mom - 10/04/2016 14:56 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said, "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 809

You deserved it 2 462

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 326

You deserved it 10 693

By seamonkeys - 21/03/2013 09:42 - United States

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 390

You deserved it 13 087

By Not Supportive - 19/05/2019 16:06

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous so I, not thinking, made comments that included the words "killing", "dying" and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 583

By jjjjjjmmmmm92 - 20/07/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 882

You deserved it 77 037

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 687

You deserved it 2 678

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 339

You deserved it 3 538

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 410

You deserved it 2 933

Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 217

Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 146

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 267

You deserved it 28 898