Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 123 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML I agree, your life sucks 42 839 You deserved it 4 680
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 549 You deserved it 7 406
Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 546 You deserved it 3 812
Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 142 You deserved it 3 247
Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder." That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 123 You deserved it 2 394
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 090 You deserved it 9 597