Dog Jump Fail By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York Practice doesn't always make perfect! I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 527 You deserved it 1 238
Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 999 You deserved it 6 870
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 796 You deserved it 5 220
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML I agree, your life sucks 28 228 You deserved it 13 829
Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 838 You deserved it 3 336
Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 508 You deserved it 589