Miscellaneous: DIY mecanics

DIY mecanics

By shakyhands - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 4 239

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Same thing different taste

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 916

Broke ass dad

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 107

You deserved it 2 978

Chloramine time

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 06:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 102

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 588

You deserved it 2 529

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 053

You deserved it 201

Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...

By Mash-brakketz - 25/10/2017 22:26

Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 348

You deserved it 297

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 991

You deserved it 2 532

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 3 923

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 6 324

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 585

You deserved it 3 883

SirSantpoort 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 8:23

Just open the windows for some time. Problem solved.

summerbaybay 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 8:25

quick suggestion-get out of the house!

Comments

xtm059 11

Tuesday 24 February 2015 2:25

How did this even get approved? Stop being such a ******* baby.

pheizer01 10

Saturday 16 July 2016 3:31

Better light some scented candles to get rid of the smell

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The Top

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 188

Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by wasting so much paper. One of the girls in my class said, “No way! They use pandas to make paper?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 110

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 620

You deserved it 4 306

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 5 983

Today, I have mono. This means I need to sleep a lot, under doctor's orders. My dad has decided it's okay to to play loud bluegrass music and leave the TV on old movies in which women scream hysterically at all hours, and gets pissed at me when I tell him to turn it down. I feel like an old man raising a manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 90

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 724

You deserved it 3 685