Close encounter magicalDEATH - - United Kingdom Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML 10 273 35 739
Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML 36 311 10 939
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML 32 704 7 892
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML 44 466 4 497
Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the crosswalk. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML 16 809 52 311
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML 3 968 227
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML 22 105 3 987
seriously? what did you not see it or where you like "oh, look here comes the helicopter straight to my face, should I move? no it'll probably change it's course any minute now".
I feel a paradox. You were piloting a helicopter on a trajectory that went awry, spun out, and crashed it into your own face. How odd.