Classic move rejecteddd - - United States Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML 40 567 5 199
Today, my sister had a C-section to deliver her premature second child. She's also in ICU with a blood oxygen level of 60% because "vaccines are dangerous". We don't know if she will make it out of the hospital or, if she does, how much damage will be caused from the long-term hypoxia. FML 1 358 238
Today, I tried to comb my hair after waking up. I not only broke the comb but also pulled a muscle in my arm. I do not go to bed with wet hair. FML 320 113
Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML 46 614 3 673
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML 34 408 12 116
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML 29 998 14 374
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML 32 643 4 380
Maybe he got lost. Afterall he is blind.
It's called sarcasm..