Captive

Anonymous - 05/04/2020 20:00

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

1 513

228

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

44 883

6 666

Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

34 362

3 040

I guess not

Nick - 16/03/2009 05:08 - Canada

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

87 827

15 830

derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

21 239

2 181

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

415

121

womanlover12345 - 18/07/2011 16:05 - Spain

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

39 695

8 862

wtf did i do?? - 11/01/2013 22:22 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

34 347

3 258

Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

30 841

3 987

Anonymous - 02/06/2009 11:05 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

46 633

5 389

Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

23 766

1 496

juggalo2 21

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

juggalo2 21

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

WistayShlaio82 13

Sunday 5 April 2020 21:26

I read this on Twitter too

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

pjsr 32

Monday 6 April 2020 4:01

I’m a guy who has been kidnapped and she is using me as her sex slave. Send help within the next two or three months, please!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 April 2020 4:30

Got it! Lube and Viagra are on the way!

limeychefboy 15

Monday 6 April 2020 11:16

Why is this fml? Should be you lucky bastard, she’s happy...for now...high ******* five brother! May the happiness continue

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

53 610

6 011

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

2 440

492

Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML

4 364

635

Today, I’m still on bed rest recovering from life-altering surgery. My pain is unreal but the pills make me nauseous or knock me out cold. When I try to express what I’m going through, all anyone tries to do is cheer me up without listening. I just want someone to understand what I’m going through. FML

999

193

Today, my classmate told me she can copy an article from the internet and hand that in, as long as she cites it at the end. FML

5 046

429

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

44 019

3 796