Friends, Birthday and Dentist: Birthday Girl - FML

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414 148

You deserved it 21 919

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Same thing different taste

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 894

You deserved it 3 589

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 994

You deserved it 2 906

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 165

You deserved it 4 249

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 135

Great timing, dude

By misswhiskers - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 517

You deserved it 3 446

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 887

You deserved it 10 537

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00

Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 505

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 749

You deserved it 2 598

New BFF unlocked

By Jeremy - 28/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 200

You deserved it 3 300

Next

Top comments

xyzstephzyx 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!

Aetius_fml 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

At least you have a cool dentist

Comments

Jazzey5 3

Sunday 5 August 2012 8:33

Did you throw out the ring ? I would of

AJE98 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 16:12

Bitchin dentist!

Whistlee 8

Saturday 18 August 2012 17:34

Here's a message:HAPPY BIRTHDAY. ya got four now, innit

lenaduchannes 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 0:03

I'm sorry that really sucks

Sky5423 4

Friday 2 November 2012 2:53

At least your dentist wished you happy birthday!

Kramerboy 2

Monday 26 November 2012 8:32

Dentist, always putting a smile on your face, what they do best

Flesheatinmonkey 3

Saturday 2 February 2013 22:12

Nice dentist

DesiredFrenzy 3

Friday 8 February 2013 11:57

keep the ring

anthony99 14

Tuesday 5 March 2013 2:38

I heard that you were feeling ill Cheating fiance and a chill But I'm here to restore your pluck 'Cuz I'm the dentist who likes to...*door slams*

Finnre14 0

Friday 5 April 2013 0:28

At least your dentist cares

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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You deserved it 1 061

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I agree, your life sucks 30 218

You deserved it 2 436

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I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 238

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I agree, your life sucks 24 129

You deserved it 2 743

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I agree, your life sucks 26 256

You deserved it 3 874