Transportation, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Badass grandma - FML

Badass grandma

By yelyah - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 2 267

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Same thing different taste

Bodyscan

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 111

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 835

You deserved it 7 826

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 2 473

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 578

You deserved it 49 792

Enjoy yourself, I guess

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 645

You deserved it 1 307

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 288

You deserved it 11 631

By Need Clothes Now - 21/09/2014 15:51 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 3 364

By Brooklyn - 05/11/2012 22:11 - United States - Newport

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 289

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 2 799

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 378

You deserved it 6 382

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:32

Grams is protective of her grandchild :)

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:37

Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...

Comments

Bigboned38 0

Friday 30 March 2012 10:57

The last time she flew somewhere it was ok to have a knife on a plane, I'm guessing

TheTerenity 9

Friday 30 March 2012 13:24

I'm in Florida with the band -_-

ladyLALAA 28

Friday 30 March 2012 15:11

55, it was my school pencil case haha.

lopezfreak 2

Friday 30 March 2012 17:01

G-mana don't f*** around

hateevryone 14

Friday 30 March 2012 17:52

Hahahaha don't play with granny. She'll slice your ass.

boydeee01 7

Friday 30 March 2012 19:01

Reminds me of the time when I forgot to empty the water from my hiking backpack. (It was full, but they didn't stop me.)

lazypopo 0

Friday 30 March 2012 19:58

She wanted to make sure she had a weapon for the bar fight later on that night. You don't want your grandmother to get shanked before she finds a weapon do you?

JBsGirlee 7

Friday 30 March 2012 21:34

I put my bag on the bag scanner once and it was a bag I took to camp so it still had my pocket knife in it but they didn't say anything and I didn't know till after I got back home.

ttttttyyy 0

Friday 30 March 2012 21:47

Grannies do the darnedest things :p

sadistmonkey 19

Saturday 31 March 2012 0:30

No, what I mean is, I understand why they would confiscate scissors but why protractors?

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Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 4 181

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I agree, your life sucks 5 631

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I agree, your life sucks 32 019

You deserved it 2 411