Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 918 You deserved it 49 036 Share Tweet Share
Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML I agree, your life sucks 2 465 You deserved it 534
Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 270 You deserved it 2 579
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 476 You deserved it 2 697
Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 149 You deserved it 5 019
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 470 You deserved it 5 464
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 898 You deserved it 6 154
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)