Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML
Today, at work, it was so windy that it started taking the door off its hinges. The door now won't close all the way. I can't leave until someone comes to fix it. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
Today, I've been with my girlfriend for almost six years and its been years since we had sex. I’m only 25. I’ve had a lot of urges and every time I’ve tried to start something she brushes it off. It's to the point where every sex scene I see in a movie makes me sad. FML
What an a-hole.
I would have quit too :/