Nearly FML

By looks like I'll be resitting - 23/05/2016 15:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my a-level psychology exam. My teacher said, 'I'm not going to teach you about brain structure as it won't be on the exam.' Guess what the first question was on. FML

agreeclassic 305

vote type 1 28

By WellThisSucks - 23/05/2016 15:07 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up in horrific pain. Why? Because I somehow managed to dislocate my knee while sleeping. FML

agreeclassic 259

vote type 1 23

By unluckydaughter - 23/05/2016 14:43 - United Kingdom - Mellor

Today, after 23 years, I realized that the person who helped name me - my father - still doesn't know how to spell my name right. FML

agreeclassic 249

vote type 1 31

By 28actress - 23/05/2016 14:25 - United States - Menifee

Today, after waiting weeks to hear back from his insurance agency, I got a call telling me that the guy who rear ended me and destroyed my trunk and bumper is actually not their client and gave me all false information. I can't afford to fix my car myself. FML

agreeclassic 276

vote type 1 23

By Feelsbadman - 23/05/2016 12:37 - Japan - Chiba

Today my girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me because I didn't give her enough attention when I was studying my Japanese for a test. I moved to Japan to be with her as we were planning in getting engaged/married. Now I am stuck in Japan with no girl, and no place to live. FML

agreeclassic 131

vote type 1 16

By London100 - 23/05/2016 10:30

Today, I got a letter saying I have got a 1.55% pay rise which is an extra £24 per month. I should have got this in October after working for the company for 12 months - it's my last week and the pay rise comes in to place next month. FML

agreeclassic 270

vote type 1 43

By Frustratedwife - 23/05/2016 10:01 - United States

Today, I realized, not only has my husband never given me an orgasm, but it's also gotten to the point that I have to actively think about pretending to moan during sex. Oh well, at least I only have to pretend for 2 minutes each time. FML.

agreeclassic 293

vote type 1 46

By Pissed off - 23/05/2016 10:00 - Australia

Today while moving a sofa, my bladder decided it had to go NOW as soon as I was trapped in a corner. Had to pee in a small jar that was in reach, because any effort to get 6 feet to the bathroom would be disastrous even though 30 seconds before had no inkling I needed to go. FML

agreeclassic 187

vote type 1 37

By thosegainsthough - 23/05/2016 09:04 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I did leg day. After my workout, my legs gave out on me at the top of three flights of stairs. I have a rolled ankle and a concussion- no more gym for me. FML

agreeclassic 213

vote type 1 25

By Anonymous - 23/05/2016 08:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home from basketball practice excited for a refreshing shower. The flooding of my basement proved an adequate substitution.

agreeclassic 198

vote type 1 15

By Anonymous - 23/05/2016 07:15 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boyfriend and I have just started trying for a baby. While out at the shops, I was promptly asked when I was having my baby. I'm not even sure yet if I'm pregnant but I obviously already look it. FML

agreeclassic 206

vote type 1 24

By Stella Veneta - 23/05/2016 07:12 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, a colleague in the office got a real nice birthday present from our team: a basket with italian deli! Two weeks ago I ran around to find a present for another colleague's birthday as the others from the team forgot it. Last week I got my birthday present: a bouquet of flowers. FML.

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 28

By thatonegirl - 23/05/2016 05:33 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, after spending five hours on the pond fishing, I put my final catch on the stringer that had my day's luck of six bass, and forgot to tie it to the boat. There's goes my fish. FML.

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 37

By abandoned - 23/05/2016 04:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, on the worst day of my life, my fiance decided to bail on me to go to a party. Where she got black out drunk and spent the entire time with her ex boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 196

vote type 1 15

By UnfortunateSoul - 23/05/2016 03:46 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I was just about to open up to my best friend about my depression and loneliness when I see a snapchat story with her and all my other "friends" having the time of their lives. This is the 3rd best friend that's done this to me. Hello trust issues. FML

agreeclassic 172

vote type 1 36

By SweatySally - 23/05/2016 03:45 - United States - De Soto

Today, after an intense weight lifting workout, I had to take my 4 year old son to the store. As another patron approached I pulled him closer so he was out of the way. Apparently I pulled him too close because he yelled "Mommy! Your weiner stinks!" FML

agreeclassic 125

vote type 1 17

By Hooligan - 23/05/2016 03:34 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, we were driving for a "Sunday fun day". Sunday fun day turned into spending 7 hours on the side of the highway FML

agreeclassic 102

vote type 1 13

By Jenaenae - 23/05/2016 03:33 - United States - New London

Today, my sister asked my brother to go get burgers and a movie with her without popping me an invite, which I wouldn't of minded if I hadn't been asking my sister to hang out with ME for over a month. FML.

agreeclassic 105

vote type 1 11

By Seriouslywhy - 23/05/2016 02:58 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was spat at by a driver as I crossed the street. In a cross walk. With the walk signal. While crying. FML

agreeclassic 130

vote type 1 17

By Riptide82102 - 23/05/2016 02:44 - United States - Elk River

Today, My mom called me every name in my family before getting mine right. Even the dog's. FML

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 36

By CatThomas - 23/05/2016 02:26 - United States - Morris

Today, my wife kept bragging about this awesome date we were gonna have later watching the Billboard Awards. She even convinced me to leave our friends cookout early to get it started. Then, forty-five minutes into the awards, she's turned over and snoring. FML.

agreeclassic 105

vote type 1 14

By MonkeyHead - 23/05/2016 00:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today I was too lazy to do laundry so instead of washing my jeans I sprayed then with body spray. Little did I know it was GLITTER body spray, happily provided by my sister. I was informed of the error by a homeless guy outside the club I had been in for hours. FML

agreeclassic 135

vote type 1 45

By Anonymous - 23/05/2016 00:43

Today, I couldn't repair my car because I couldn't find my duct tape. What kind of deathtrap am I driving? FML

agreeclassic 128

vote type 1 19

By Zeratule143 - 23/05/2016 00:40 - Canada - Delta

Today, I rushed home from the camp that I work at to comfort my girlfriend of two years. She told me yesterday her grandma was hospitalized. When I got home she was acting weird. Turnes out she cheated on me with a "friend" of mine. I took off work for the week for our anniversary. FML

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 13

By sore arm - 23/05/2016 00:39 - Australia

Today, I was walking to my car to attend my doctors appointment with a possible broken arm. On my way to the car I slipped over and fell on the same arm. If it wasn't broken before it definitely is now. FML

agreeclassic 147

vote type 1 12

By peanut butter jelly time - 23/05/2016 00:18 - United States - Apache Junction

Today, my boyfriend tried to surprise me my climbing through my window into my room. To return the favor, I surprised him with a kick in the nuts. I thought he was a robber. FML

agreeclassic 143

vote type 1 22

By Lonely_loner - 22/05/2016 23:45 - Germany - Peine

Today, I realized how lonely I was when I was imagining myself having a conversation with a cute girl I saw three months ago but didn't have the guts to talk to her. FML

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 18

By dezbriana22 - 22/05/2016 23:25 - United States - Hatfield

Today, a customer flipped out because we are fundraising for the American Lung Association, and she was politely asked to choose her donation option on the screen in front of her. If she didn't want to donate, all she had to do was click "no." FML

agreeclassic 110

vote type 1 13

By Anonymous - 22/05/2016 23:16 - United States

Today, my mother threw a fit and would not let me study for finals as "The real world is more important". FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 7

By Better-than-never - 22/05/2016 23:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my husband and I had sex. This would usually be great if it occured more than once a month, but he prefers to just play video games with his spare time. So much for our plans to get pregnant anytime soon. FML.

agreeclassic 112

vote type 1 16

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Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

agreeclassic 9 997

vote type 1 28 524

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

agreeclassic 27 576

vote type 1 19 266

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

agreeclassic 33 944

vote type 1 6 871

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

agreeclassic 30 151

vote type 1 2 685

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 19 533

vote type 1 75 103

Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML

agreeclassic 548

vote type 1 64