Vacation

Migraine-inducing FML

By myheadhurts - 21/06/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug-addicted friends into my home while I was away, where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 308

You deserved it 5 428

Gratitude walks

By Liam - 06/05/2021 02:01

Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 121

Management for dummies

By hayley8 - 04/06/2022 10:00

Today, it’s the middle of my vacation and I just got a notification saying my time off request was denied. A month earlier, I got the notice saying it was approved. I’m literally 4 states over. I’m not going to have a job when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 99

Make plans, Mom laughs

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 16:00

Today, as I can’t afford a “real” vacation, I’m trying to get my car converted for camping in time for what promises to be perfect weather next week. Meanwhile, my mom booked a trip to Switzerland. For next week. Guess who gets to stay home and feed the animals? FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 156

Holidays in the sun

By ToxicFamily - 05/04/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 370

This is fine

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, we're in the middle of vacation. Two days in, my dad no longer wants to do anything but sit in the hotel room and sulk because, "it's all about us." We'd already tried taking him to an antique car and motorcycle museum, and a local gun show, but he just sat in the car pouting. Five more days of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 95

Nervous Nelly

By Odnel - 27/07/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 217

You deserved it 3 839

Alexa, play "Wide Open Space" by Mansun

By revolutionbabe - 14/03/2022 10:00

Today, I don't have to set my alarm. I don't have to be anywhere. I can stay up late. But I'm a creature of habit and routine, and having an off day frightens me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 242

Perfect timing

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, at 36 years-old, I will be leaving to go on my first ever vacation. Aunt Flo held off until yesterday so she could come with me, and she's BAD this month. We were planning on going to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 123

You really shouldn't have

By ParentsSleepingOnMyCouch - 13/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Renton

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 112

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 06:00

Today, I took a day off to read a book, but ended up with a headache from staring at a screen all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 656

Hit and trundle

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 14:00

Today, it was supposed to be my last day of work before flying off on my first foreign holiday in 4 years. Some bastard on an electric scooter ran into me at the bus stop and broke my leg so badly the doctors say I need pins and a metal cage. Waiting for surgery now. So long holiday, maybe next year, eh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 110

The Beach Boys

By aligator1009 - 09/05/2012 04:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 2 589

Stick to the script

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 11:00

Today, to save money on our vacation, we got a single room with double beds. What a mistake that was. Thanks to our dad's OCD need to stick to his schedule, he got us up at 6 every morning, we had to be in bed by 9:30PM and absolutely no relaxing by the pool, because “we got things to do.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 146

Fire!

By Mel Cluze - 22/10/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were spending the night at a hotel. We were awoken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm. We quickly got dressed, went down the stairs to the reception area… and were told that it was a false alarm. All because some jerk lit a cigarette in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 166

No rest

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 11:00

Today, I'd booked a day off work so I could sit and read books all day. I told my wife this, and her response was basically, "Well since you're at home not doing anything important, here’s a list of jobs that need doing." I wasn’t aware enjoying reading counted as doing nothing important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 365

Idiocracy

By Faith - 09/02/2021 11:01

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 128

Jack…

By Alliente - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 719

You deserved it 3 951

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 318

Bon voyage!

By greaaaatt. - 25/07/2010 05:45 - United States

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents' house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Caribbean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 2 934

By Sock_Muppet - 06/04/2019 20:00

Today, I looked at my sister's Instagram story, and saw her, my brother, and my father all on a family road trip to Reno without me. I wasn't told anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 188

Holiday blues

By Anonymous - 30/07/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 4 041

Bankrolled

By Anon - 02/01/2023 12:00

Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 227

Obey

By Monica - 02/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was looking forward to languishing on the beach for a few days of a “much needed vacation” when I literally got called back into work on my way to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 151

Family vacation!

By Ungrateful brat - 06/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 215

I NEEDED THIS BREAK TO HEAL ME

By Forevor_a_potato - 26/04/2019 16:00

Today, I have to reschedule the vacation I had planned for eight months because I have the flu, and feel too sick to go and enjoy myself at a waterpark. This vacation is the only thing that's kept me sane these last two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 235

Don't ass-u-me

By yoyo22 - 05/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my friend on vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 009

You deserved it 9 438

The Hobble

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 91

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 84

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 00:02

Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 295

FML on Facebook

Keywords

#FAFO Sexism Kids Parents Disney Money Health Poopoo peepee Farts Gross Cheating Shopping Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Vacation Paranoia Love Awkward Moving home Sports Sex Intimacy Work Transportation Cars Annoying Garden Cooking Teachers

The Top

Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 379

You deserved it 1 726

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 678

You deserved it 6 826

Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 272

Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 392

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 4 879

Today, I was busy writing my English final paper and all of a sudden my computer just chose to freeze. I thought Microsoft Word would save it, but alas, 4 pages down the dumpster. Plus my earphones stopped working and I can't afford to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 194