Poopoo peepee

A bit too many Fall vibes

By ppppp - 26/10/2023 20:00

Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 454

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 237

Chemical warfare

By Yurgh - 19/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, and ever since my fiance started eating apples instead of junk food, he now has horribly foul diarrhea every morning, and keeps insisting it's his body "flushing out the toxins." I'm about to rent a Porta Potty so our bathrooms don't smell like sewage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 153

Spanner in the works

By .......... - 07/06/2015 09:46 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 769

You deserved it 2 760

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 3 400

Parks and recreation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 884

You deserved it 2 332

Nice imagery, dude

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 10:00

Today, I ate something that didn’t agree with me. Now I’m in the bathroom and my butthole is dry heaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 128

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 25 190

Great seeing you

By Nicole - 09/05/2016 20:12 - United States - Bozeman

Today, a friend came to visit me from across the U.S. We spent the majority of the time she was here standing in the rain, at the dog park 20 miles from my house, so she could "make sure her baby poops on time". Basically, I took time off to watch my friend's dog take 6 craps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 315

You deserved it 917

I like what I like

By lukey101 - 29/07/2023 18:00

Today, my dog won’t eat the premium $30 per kilo food I buy him, but he will eat other dog’s shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 231

We almost made it…

By Joe Shmoe - 16/06/2025 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I really really needed to poop. I held it hard. I held it really hard. I pooped my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 202

Toxic workplace

By Keerah - 31/08/2025 13:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at work, I wondered: What's worse than a psychotic, gaslighting supervisor with his classic "You are worthless!" and "I never said/did that!" and other variations? A combination of said character with an autistic employee who panics at every such situation to the brink of peeing themself. I hate being that employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 128

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 298

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 06:00

Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 101

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 288

You deserved it 1 784

Wiped out

By myassisburnins - 31/08/2025 18:30 - India - Indore

Today, for the first time in ages, I had to go twice. At noon, after finishing my shit I reached for the jet spray, only to find out that the water was out until morning due to motor maintenance. I ended up using a newspaper. Only review: you guys in America & Europe really have it hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 281

TW: Gross

By mpfrost153 - 01/11/2021 12:00 - United States

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 131

Man's best friend

By Larry - 19/09/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I went for a long hike in the woods, just me and my best friend, a Tibetan Mastiff called Flea. While trying to take a selfie with a beautiful view as a backdrop, I tripped over one of her huge paws, rolled down a hill, and landed in a pile of what I hope was just mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 287

The horror

By GW. - 01/04/2025 07:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 79

The red knob incident

By Bee - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 93 308

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 734

You deserved it 2 430

By killme - 29/02/2016 07:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 561

You deserved it 23 608

Nature isn't healing

By my butt is lava - 19/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Custer

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 204

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 184

Don't let things get you down, just pish yersel

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 22:00

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 338

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 423

You deserved it 48 897

Tough shit

By c.m.g. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 601

You deserved it 3 945

Spray it loud!

By klutz44 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Winnetka

Today, I took my 2 year-old to a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 281

You deserved it 3 004

College life

By rimenrezon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 2 538

Stop moving!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had to try and capture some of my dog’s pee to get tests done. During the attempt, he pissed all up my arm, the ordeal drawing a crowd of spectators who no doubt think I’ve gone mad. After all that, the sample captured wasn’t enough to be tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 106

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 638

Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 541

Today, my washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, and laptop all stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 373

You deserved it 169

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 3 887

Today, I was in a car crash. While I was being immobilised by the paramedics to be taken to the nearest hospital, the passenger of the other car, who didn't have a single scratch, touched my shoulder and said, "It doesn't matter, nobody got hurt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 275

You deserved it 185

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 3 959