Parents

The long goodbye

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 147

Daddy's… boy

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 12:01

Today, it's been a week my husband started pouting since I gave birth to our third and final baby, who is also our third boy. He’s pouting that he didn’t get the daughter he wanted. It’s so cute watching him sulk, but he’s also a pain in the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 248

I can't deal with confrontation

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 06:00

Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 1 323

Swindled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that a two-day job I helped my dad do for his old friend was actually a job for a real customer, who paid my dad £4500. All I got for my two days work was coffee and Co-op sandwiches for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 143

Judgy

By distressed - 17/03/2015 12:00 - Australia - Burwood

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 392

You deserved it 6 983

Brainrot strikes again

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 234

I'm too old for this

By anon - 08/06/2022 22:00

Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 186

Big Brother is watching you

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 2 701

Hope springs eternal

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend rejected my proposal, claiming she refuses to get married until she finally finds her dad, so he can walk her down the aisle. Babe, he walked out when you were 7 and hasn't been seen or contacted you since. Just say you don't wanna marry me so we can both move on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 179

Naughty boy

By wisp - 18/05/2021 10:59

Today, my father called me cruel and heartless. Why? Because while I was at school, our dogs opened the door to my room and managed to shut themselves inside all day without food or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 90

The straights are at it again

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 12:00

Today, I came out to my parents. My mother laughed and, when I asked her what was so funny, she told me, "Well, most gays are attractive, muscular, funny and can dress very well. You're ugly, fat, boring, and have no sense of fashion. Good luck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 302

Deadbeat

By stepdaddydoesitbetteranyway - 13/10/2020 20:05

Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 207

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 841

Shackled

By Merserve - 09/07/2020 02:00

Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 156

Stiff upper lip

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 16:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, my father started nagging me about my husband's mental health. He doesn't understand why my husband can't just walk it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 101

The truth will always come out

By cmendez - 26/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 896

You deserved it 2 310

Parental pressure

By asian-indian-kid - 09/05/2022 02:00

Today, my dad reminded me that he expects me to try to get into a prestigious (read: top 5, braggable) university for undergrad. I just want to be normal and go to an above average school where I can thrive, instead of killing my mental health now and then mutilating its dead body after I go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 152

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 5 846

TMI, mom

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Berkeley Springs

Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 168

Moving

By ssjin93 - 24/11/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, the other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 397

You deserved it 2 429

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 1 514

Terminally online

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 162

Son, we have something to tell you…

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 121

You deserved it 2 707

Sixth sense

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 22:00

Today, I walked in the house as though I was coming home from work on a normal day, fully clothed and carrying my work bag, but somehow my dad still knew I hadn’t been to work, but was in fact doing the evening version of the walk of shame, after spending all day in bed with my booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 1 203

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 1 429

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, and ever since my parents started watching "Love on the Spectrum", they've have been trying to play matchmaker with me and the women on the show, since I'm autistic and single. Unfortunately, they've been unsuccessful. The universe is dropping hints - hints that I will probably remain painfully single for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 153

Save yourself

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 22:01

Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 258

Not helping

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 83

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 829

You deserved it 2 935

DILF

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 16:55 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 943

You deserved it 1 488

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 934

You deserved it 242

Today, my mother mentioned she thought I was Unit 11, and not the correct Unit 1, in my building. I then remembered my last anonymous Valentine’s Day card was addressed to me, but at Unit 11. So my “Secret Admirer” of many years is actually my mother taking pity on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 121

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 313

You deserved it 4 941

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 3 183

Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 144

Today, my boyfriend, who is also a coworker, proposed to me in the parking of the store we work at when it was dark out. He came up behind me, and, thinking it was some creep, I stabbed him with my car keys. The scar will alway help him remember our engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 188