Love

heres the story behind the post for all you assholes who think im ugly or a bitch. really? anyway. my boyfriend of 5 years had gotten back the day before from 2 weeks in florida buying our new house. i had already left for a camping trip. He was to meet me down the next day. On his way down 'supposibly' his friend calls to tell me there has been a terrible accident and he was rushed to the hospital. My drunk ass freaks out drives an hour back home and rushes to the hospital. oh heyy.. guess what hes not there. I go to his house... and theres his car. The excuse was he didnt want to hurt my feelings by telling me he didnt want to camp in the first place... so he just lied. Its his birthday tommarrow and i will not be buying him a damn thing. there ya go :)

By CrazzY88s - 06/06/2010 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 34 183

By someoneelsessaliva - 05/06/2010 06:59 - Australia

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 480

You deserved it 4 203

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 007

You deserved it 8 753

Rubbing it in, Sharon

By single and not mingling - 04/06/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 4 055

By badsinger - 04/06/2010 09:38 - New Zealand

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 090

You deserved it 15 560

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 7 066

By sincerely - 03/06/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 700

You deserved it 5 608

Spooked

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her Facebook status from "Married" to "Widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 096

You deserved it 5 259

By chiclet - 02/06/2010 02:34 - France

Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 219

You deserved it 4 478

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 822

You deserved it 5 236

By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 834

You deserved it 6 455

By TheSickness - 28/05/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 203

You deserved it 59 325

By Sarahfizzeller - 26/05/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 668

You deserved it 3 399

By pandasbear - 26/05/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 871

You deserved it 14 209

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 658

You deserved it 4 073

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 560

By gedderdunn - 24/05/2010 06:13 - Reserved

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 158

You deserved it 7 772

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 221

You deserved it 29 959

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 954

You deserved it 37 047

Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 446

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 162

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 683

You deserved it 5 221

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 874

You deserved it 64 220

Today, I was texting my crush. He wasn’t really into the texts because he was barely replying, until he texted back calling me "Baby." I got so excited, I almost cried, until he corrected himself and said that the text wasn’t for me. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 544