Love

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 06:09 - Australia

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 007

You deserved it 4 292

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 861

You deserved it 3 019

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 102

You deserved it 9 642

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 517

You deserved it 6 414

Fake news

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 11 326

I miss you

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 00:41 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 690

You deserved it 3 996

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 08:40 - France

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 539

You deserved it 3 996

Red circle gang

By lala - 11/11/2010 02:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 740

You deserved it 4 738

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 01:43 - United States

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 602

You deserved it 4 602

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 173

By botheredgf - 09/11/2010 12:02 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 4 438

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 581

You deserved it 5 372

By ashbox233 - 09/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 171

You deserved it 85 593

Banjo starts playing in the background

By unknown - 09/11/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 248

You deserved it 5 183

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 09:50 - United States

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 571

You deserved it 8 489

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 21:32 - United States

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 3 525

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 00:42 - United States

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 487

You deserved it 3 123

By anonymous - 06/11/2010 22:37 - Canada

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 267

You deserved it 26 854

By anonymous_0505 - 06/11/2010 17:24 - Russian Federation

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 849

You deserved it 9 476

By iheartexes - 06/11/2010 04:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 4 098

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 7 391

By distressed - 05/11/2010 23:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 543

You deserved it 4 110

By nolife - 05/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 418

You deserved it 2 989

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 09:19 - Australia

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 790

You deserved it 3 180

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 4 748

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 136

You deserved it 36 254

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 19:07 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 017

You deserved it 5 881

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 15:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 870

You deserved it 3 324

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 16 664

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 505

You deserved it 9 629

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 210

You deserved it 13 417

Today, after our housing offer was accepted, I told my parents. The only response was, “That’s a much nicer house than I had when I got married, I hope you can afford furniture.” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 279

Today, I handed over to my wife a new PC I had just built for her. She's now not talking to me, as I had been completely selfish and hadn't thought of her, all because I did not preinstall Google Chrome or move the Windows 11 start menu to the left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 89

Today, all I heard in B&Q was my daughter laughing hysterically in the next aisle and sure enough, when I ran around, my husband was completely engrossed in some discount item on a shelf, completely ignoring our daughter who had opened a bottle of some sort of oil and painted her whole head in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 171

Today, my mom corrected all the spelling mistakes in my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 90

Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 626

You deserved it 5 327

Love

Fake news

I miss you

Red circle gang

*Banjo starts playing in the background*

Banjo starts playing in the background