Love

Today, on The Love Boat…

By Nicky - 21/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Farmington

Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML

agreeclassic 522

vote type 1 109

What would you do?

By Immajerk - 20/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I just got a girlfriend who I love a lot, but I’m friends with this other girl out of pity. It’s so obvious she likes me a lot, and even goes the extra mile for me, but she’s just not my type. I’ve contemplated many times how to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. I just can’t bring myself to do it. FML

agreeclassic 161

vote type 1 600

Just stop, please

By fuck you, mum - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

agreeclassic 41 198

vote type 1 4 308

Full blast

By DyingOfShame - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML

agreeclassic 37 612

vote type 1 8 606

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

agreeclassic 415

vote type 1 120

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

agreeclassic 313

vote type 1 163

Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

agreeclassic 360

vote type 1 125

Never change the routine

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML

agreeclassic 471

vote type 1 78

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 03:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, I found a really amazing person on a dating site. We had just begun our conversation and within 15-20 minutes, the site went offline. I thought she'd ghosted me, and she's probably thinking the same too. It's been two hours and it's still down. FML

agreeclassic 416

vote type 1 109

Snooping

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 19:30 - India - Bhubaneswar

Today, I was forced to use Egspy on my wife's iPhone. She is going out with a colleague in exchange for getting her promotion approved. I've never had any hints or doubts, but it seems she's having illicit relations with multiple colleagues. FML

agreeclassic 536

vote type 1 160

You look like you've seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was being ghosted by the person I’d been talking to online for three months. I was heartbroken, but then I noticed a message notification pop up from him. Excited, I opened it up, only to see, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

agreeclassic 398

vote type 1 105

Double standards

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years cheated on me. His reason? "You were flirting with me for a whole year before us when you had a whole boyfriend at the time. How do I know you aren't a cheater?" His further reasoning was that at least if I cheated on him, he'd have a reason to stay with me. FML

agreeclassic 225

vote type 1 443

Brief encounter

By anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Pewaukee

Today, a guy I have been crushing on since forever finally talked to me. Too bad it happened after an anxiety attack when he carried me from class to the nurse's. The first thing he said to me when I came to was, "You're heavier than you look." FML

agreeclassic 15 726

vote type 1 1 431

Sheila Take a Bow

By Ash090 - 13/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I came to realize that dating as an overweight girl sucks. I can’t get a guy to commit/stay to save my life. I go on dating apps, and when we exchange photos or meet in person they abandon me. I know that this will change if I lose weight, but is it wrong for me to want to be loved for who I am? FML

agreeclassic 496

vote type 1 647

Let's do this again?

By Giselle - 13/10/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML

agreeclassic 532

vote type 1 67

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

agreeclassic 532

vote type 1 89

Treat yourself

By dixie - 11/10/2024 23:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my unemployed-for-a-decade husband is out buying new dress shoes while I'm struggle to pay for the household bills and food all by myself. He can’t understand why I’m irritated. FML

agreeclassic 455

vote type 1 167

One last thing…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She came over to see me one last time. We hugged for minutes and cried; it was a touching moment. Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML

agreeclassic 41 054

vote type 1 4 967

Just make it stop

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I’m stuck on a date with a man who got ready by washing his car instead of showering, is proud to never read newspapers because “they lie”, and thinks racist jokes count as witty conversation. I’d have left already but he drove me, there’s no bus stop nearby, and no Ubers in the area. FML

agreeclassic 460

vote type 1 156

Red flag

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 10:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

agreeclassic 670

vote type 1 70

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

agreeclassic 508

vote type 1 75

Spineless

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend breaking up with me. Not only was this a bit cowardly but he'd also sent it in a reply to our last interaction on our phones, a group chat with some of our friends, who started commenting with sad face emojis before I had even had the chance to see it. FML

agreeclassic 468

vote type 1 79

Catfished

By mylovelifeisanepicfail - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

agreeclassic 35 233

vote type 1 3 979

Get back here!

By Fucker - 10/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to propose to my girlfriend when some scumbag snatched the ring and bolted. I chased him down, tackled him, and punched him until he gave the ring back. Now my girl is upset, crying, "What if he was hungry and needed to buy food? You didn't have to hurt him." FML

agreeclassic 658

vote type 1 86

I recognize that voice

By Ratted - 10/10/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML

agreeclassic 168

vote type 1 590

How's it going?

By initforthewrongreasons - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I texted my exes, not because I missed them, but because I wanted to know how their pets were doing. This holds true for at least four relationships. FML

agreeclassic 3 837

vote type 1 1 513

Disconnected

By Chrissy - 08/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was having a romantic dinner with my girlfriend when she said she had a confession. I expected something cute. Instead, she told me she’s been "reconnecting" with her ex for the past month... and wants to go back to him. FML

agreeclassic 555

vote type 1 66

Leave me alone

By notgivingup - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

agreeclassic 26 215

vote type 1 2 085

Dodged a bullet

By Newly single - 07/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

agreeclassic 475

vote type 1 379

There's still hope, then?

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML

agreeclassic 606

vote type 1 71

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

agreeclassic 20 057

vote type 1 1 822

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

agreeclassic 26 153

vote type 1 2 078

Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 32 206

vote type 1 2 524

Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML

agreeclassic 17 770

vote type 1 1 796

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

agreeclassic 24 423

vote type 1 35 793

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

agreeclassic 33 856

vote type 1 4 048