Love

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 211

You deserved it 3 020

By that one anon - 07/05/2015 06:27 - United States - San Diego

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 987

You deserved it 2 558

Love language

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 419

You deserved it 4 115

By anon - 06/05/2015 12:50 - United States - Lawrence

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 526

You deserved it 3 393

By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 05:24 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 640

You deserved it 3 316

By msleea - 06/05/2015 04:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 547

You deserved it 3 853

By fleckney26 - 05/05/2015 17:09 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 767

You deserved it 5 989

fleckney26 tells us more.

fleckney26 25

Thursday 7 May 2015 17:31

Op here, first of all, thanks for the support. Mostly. It's not actual depression, just feeling rather miserable about it all, especially as many of my friends are all in happy relationships that I see every day. We dated for just over three months, and I guess the main reason I'm still upset is that she was my first proper girlfriend, first kiss, and at the risk of sounding a bit too pathetic, my first love. To those saying that I should get out and find a hobby, I do. I play the French horn in and out of school, and I'm in the Air Training Corps, which takes up nearly all my free time. The only problem is, she does exactly the same, so I still see her every day and we regularly have camps together, so it's hard to avoid her. Saying that, we are still friends, and the break up was very calm, so there are no hard feeling between us. Anyway, sorry for the long comment, and thanks for getting this posted!

Delayed

By inheritance - 05/05/2015 14:44 - Denmark - Lyngby

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 3 445

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 585

You deserved it 6 321

By double trouble - 04/05/2015 04:04

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 907

You deserved it 2 572

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 4 144

By wtf - 01/05/2015 22:57 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 273

You deserved it 3 211

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 19:26

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 074

You deserved it 33 091

By Forever alone - 01/05/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 12 518

By Confusedblonde - 30/04/2015 03:31 - United States - Canton

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 894

You deserved it 6 506

By xxlenalunaxx - 29/04/2015 11:11 - United States

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 603

You deserved it 4 290

By koalaburr - 28/04/2015 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 192

You deserved it 3 221

By Groomzilla? - 28/04/2015 05:32 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 956

You deserved it 4 008

By Anonymous - 27/04/2015 14:49 - United States - Apopka

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 7 036

By Junkiegamer - 27/04/2015 14:20 - United States - Huntsville

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 471

You deserved it 3 956

Junkiegamer tells us more.

Junkiegamer 26

Tuesday 28 April 2015 15:06

Hey it Op, for one I am a male. The break-up wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible. We lived together before hand because we go to college together and I offered to let her new girlfriend stay here, because she had nowhere else to go. I'm not sure what the word is but my ex loves people for who they are, gender doesn't really to her

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 013

You deserved it 2 969