Love

Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

agreeclassic 25 956

vote type 1 3 356

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

agreeclassic 21 283

vote type 1 2 658

Living his best life

By shotdown - 02/12/2015 20:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

agreeclassic 22 829

vote type 1 2 426

By ujellybro234 - 01/12/2015 16:52 - United States - Brown City

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

agreeclassic 31 797

vote type 1 1 890

ujellybro234 app_comment_confession_title

ujellybro234 18

Friday 4 December 2015 3:44

Hey OP here and wow didnt think this would pass! To all those people saying I should have stood up for myself earlier in my childhood I have one question. How was I, a 5'8'', 120 pound boy, supposed to fight off the 6 foot 200 pound lineman on our football team? Think before you comment. I wouldn't stand a chance.

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 16:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML

agreeclassic 28 051

vote type 1 2 842

By badplannning - 30/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Naperville

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

agreeclassic 24 401

vote type 1 2 242

Creepy

By lisa - 29/11/2015 16:04 - Australia - Kensington

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

agreeclassic 22 848

vote type 1 1 402

Unsure

By Anonymous - 29/11/2015 06:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted, "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML

agreeclassic 28 613

vote type 1 1 903

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

agreeclassic 24 023

vote type 1 1 974

By single and hatless - 28/11/2015 03:46 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

agreeclassic 23 454

vote type 1 2 257

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:52 - United States - Westerville

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

agreeclassic 25 652

vote type 1 2 880

Social media is dangerous

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 12:50 - United States - Ontario

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

agreeclassic 24 861

vote type 1 2 636

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

agreeclassic 28 261

vote type 1 1 888

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

agreeclassic 26 825

vote type 1 2 379

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 22 821

vote type 1 6 893

Cheeky

By anonymous - 20/11/2015 19:07 - United States

Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML

agreeclassic 26 431

vote type 1 1 975

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 14:43 - United States - Tyler

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

agreeclassic 30 226

vote type 1 2 820

By lemonlime66 - 20/11/2015 00:25 - United States - Lyman

Today, my crush came into the gas station I work at and said, "Man, you look hot today!" Flattered, I thanked him. He replied, "No, I mean like hot and sweaty, like you've been working hard." FML

agreeclassic 25 193

vote type 1 2 268

lemonlime66 app_comment_confession_title

lemonlime66 21

Friday 20 November 2015 20:59

Hey, OP here. This happened a few months ago, but I still remember the embarrassment like it was this morning. I made a joke out of it, we became close, and then his wife and I found out about each other. We became friends, they got divorced, and we all lived happily ever after (except him).

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

agreeclassic 25 680

vote type 1 2 031

By onyinye - 19/11/2015 13:09 - Germany - Neum?nster

Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML

agreeclassic 24 584

vote type 1 2 203

onyinye app_comment_confession_title

onyinye 4

Friday 20 November 2015 0:05

hey guys, OP here. We have been together for several years now and we've been through a lot. I'd say we have grown together and our relationship is great in general. However, a lot of bad stuff has happened in the past (I got raped and he kinda blames himself for not being there for me and protecting me at that time, which he couldn't, because he got falsely accused of dealing drugs and was behind bars for a couple of months until they let him go). About the marrying stuff, we are still engaged and want to get married in the future, but considering the circumstances we have decided to wait for things to settle before actually setting a date and going through with it. I think the reason why he got angry is that he usually sees himself as "the strong man" and the protector and while he is comfortable talking to me alone, he felt really uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of a stranger.