Love

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 05:00

Today, I got my septum piercing stuck in a bag of cinnamon pine cones at Target. My boyfriend was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants, so all the other shoppers probably thought I'd had to call a Target employee over to "cut" me out of the bag. FML

agreeclassic 2 755

vote type 1 1 577

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

agreeclassic 3 498

vote type 1 785

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

agreeclassic 4 271

vote type 1 584

By Can’t Cope - 19/11/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML

agreeclassic 5 660

vote type 1 546

Sexy back

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

agreeclassic 7 576

vote type 1 2 863

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

agreeclassic 4 250

vote type 1 457

Classy.

By Alexis - 15/11/2017 23:00 - United States

Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML

agreeclassic 4 095

vote type 1 678

By Justmyluck - 15/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML

agreeclassic 4 968

vote type 1 885

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

agreeclassic 5 164

vote type 1 344

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

agreeclassic 3 821

vote type 1 443

By Rainydaze - 10/11/2017 20:00 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, the guy I hooked up with last summer who was "going through a divorce" welcomed his new baby with his loving wife. FML

agreeclassic 4 217

vote type 1 1 872

New horizons

By itsalwaysme - 09/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, after recently rekindling an old relationship, I discovered a whole new world when I found his secret Twitter account. Apparently he's now a cross-dressing, submissive, financially dominated "slave" for doms online. FML

agreeclassic 5 053

vote type 1 841

He tried.

By Anonymous - 09/11/2017 05:00

Today, I rejected a girl I work with because I have a girlfriend. That girl then posted on Facebook that she'd friendzoned me for being creepy. My girlfriend saw the post, believed it, and dumped me. FML

agreeclassic 4 992

vote type 1 298

By Wellthissucks - 06/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 4 269

vote type 1 489

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 4 352

vote type 1 4 977

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

agreeclassic 7 539

vote type 1 438

Degrading

By Failure2017 - 04/11/2017 19:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband referred to me as his “favorite meat sock” in front of our son. FML

agreeclassic 4 484

vote type 1 490

By "missunknowno9" - 04/11/2017 06:46

Today, it was my best friend's birthday, so we all went out for drinks. She had a little too much and needed to be picked up so I opened her phone and called "bae." That's when I found out that not only does my husband have a second phone, but he's also cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

agreeclassic 11 592

vote type 1 550

missunknowno9 app_comment_confession_title

missunknowno9 8

Monday 30 October 2017 17:47

1. Because I wasn't cutting my night short, because we have children and we finally had a babysitter for once. So I was enjoying my night. 2. I chose "Bae," because that's generally what someone puts in their phone as their significant other... ?

By my boyfriend is a slut - 03/11/2017 04:00

Today, I took my new boyfriend to my step-sister's wedding. He knew more people there than I did, including 3 bridesmaids he used to sleep with. FML

agreeclassic 4 927

vote type 1 508

Sharing is caring

By D.W. - 03/11/2017 00:30

Spicy

Today, the new Apple update put all of the 100+ nudes I'd sent my boyfriend on his mother's phone because their accounts are linked. FML

agreeclassic 3 746

vote type 1 4 271

Weird reason, but OK

By hurt - 30/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Boise

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of our differing skin tones. The contrast weirds him out during sex. FML

agreeclassic 5 425

vote type 1 427

By Sarah grace - 30/10/2017 01:30

Today, I challenged my husband to look after our twins by himself all day, like I normally do. When I got home, both babies had on clean nappies and clothes, dinner was cooked, the house was spotless, and 3 loads of washing were done. Smug bastard. FML

agreeclassic 2 571

vote type 1 7 962

By ConfusedFiancé - 29/10/2017 22:00

Today, I stumbled across my boyfriend's tumblr page. I've known him for years and never knew he had one. Being curious, I decided to give it a look, only to be ambushed by a wall of furry porn. FML

agreeclassic 4 265

vote type 1 844

Strike

By Cameron - 29/10/2017 06:00

Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML

agreeclassic 5 479

vote type 1 526

By sendhelp - 29/10/2017 00:56

Today, on holiday 5,000 miles from home with my boyfriend and our child, I found out that he’s been constantly messaging and hooking up with one of my best friends. I have no money to get home. Only 10 days to go. FML

agreeclassic 4 874

vote type 1 354

tragic1992 app_comment_confession_title

tragic1992 20

Sunday 29 October 2017 0:20

Still stuck here. It’s all inclusive so at least we won’t starve. He hasn’t been off his phone the whole time messaging her. No ***** given on his part !!! Meanwhile I’m falling apart! FML

By sam - 26/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML

agreeclassic 1 525

vote type 1 3 650

By Heather212 - 26/10/2017 07:26

Spicy

Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML

agreeclassic 7 388

vote type 1 1 419

By Highschoolisover! - 26/10/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

agreeclassic 5 651

vote type 1 741

By TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

agreeclassic 5 034

vote type 1 1 006

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, both my mom and dad agreed I basically ruined their life by existing. They weren’t even trying to be mean, they just casually mentioned that their lives were brilliant before me, then after I was born everything turned to shit and they’ve been miserable ever since. FML

agreeclassic 1 136

vote type 1 128

Today, to keep my dog from barking in my ear in the car, I put a buzz collar on him. It worked: he barked once, the collar vibrated, he shut up. Then, his 75 pounds trembling in terror, he pissed himself and all over the back seat. FML

agreeclassic 6 187

vote type 1 12 466

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

agreeclassic 37 213

vote type 1 3 994

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

agreeclassic 38 579

vote type 1 5 541

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

agreeclassic 32 943

vote type 1 2 166

Today, it's the last day of my three-week vacation, during which I couldn't go anywhere due to COVID and lockdown. I just learned that some of my colleagues are infected and I will have to fill in for two department superintendents at the same time when I go back to work tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 964

vote type 1 105