Love

Sorry sweaty, my brain is melting

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 22:01

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 1 396

Perish the thought

By weird - 03/07/2021 20:01

Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 268

Peter and Pan

By dudeWTF - 03/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 187

TFIF!

By Heartbroken - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole who dumped me last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 889

You deserved it 5 857

That went well

By Gigi - 02/07/2021 13:59

Today, my now ex-fiancé walked out on me on our wedding day. He decided his best female friend, whom he constantly told me not to worry about while we were together, is his "soulmate." Both of them ran away together to god knows where, while I stood there humiliated in front of our family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 173

…and then everyone clapped

By boobsnbaseball - 02/07/2021 05:59

Today, my boyfriend and I got put on the Kiss cam at a baseball game. Instead of kissing me, he grabbed my boobs and got the biggest round of applause I have heard in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 227

Toxic

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 22:00

Today, I realized my husband of 30 years consistently makes fun of me in front of friends, and he gets mad when I express opinions contrary to his. I don't think he respects me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 174

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 21:59

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 1 265

"Why are you booing me? I'm right"

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 18:00

Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 1 036

Some things never change…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fresno

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband, half-naked, and yelling at the TV screen while watching a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 047

You deserved it 2 948

Weird friendship, but OK

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 14:01

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 469

City boy

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 199

Family Matters

By MeLandes - 28/06/2021 14:01 - United States - Germantown

Today, I found out I will always come in second to my new husband's alcoholic parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 155

Frenemies 2

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 17:59

Today, my old frenemy told me she married my college boyfriend who made a fortune during the early days of Bitcoin. They have no kids, a massive house, retired when they were 45, and are moving to their retirement villa in Hawaii. I'm divorced and on benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 228

Red flag

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 16:03

Today, my boyfriend and I went clothes shopping for an upcoming wedding trip to Mexico. He wanted a dressing room fashion show to approve what I would buy. I’m 40. Last time I did this, I was in grade school. Maybe I shouldn’t go on the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 196

Preemptive strike time

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 07:58

Today, my husband compared leaving me for another woman to finding another job with a better pay, saying, "Sometimes, better is out there, and I deserve better." He seriously thinks it’s a good enough reason. We’ve been married for 11 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 178

Nice guy self-reporting

By Gamaliel - 27/06/2021 22:01

Today, I saw the girl I've had a crush on since forever go on another Facebook rant talking about, “All men are the same!” She does this every time she gets her heart broken by some jerk. I’ve been trying to get with her for about 6 years, and she’s yet to give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 2 276

Todd is fine, and you?

By blind_date - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 934

You deserved it 6 441

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 226

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 158

Cheaply romantic

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 16:00

Today, I walked into a dollar store as my boyfriend's girlfriend. I came out as his fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 488

Strong incel vibes

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 02:01

Today, I showed up to my Bumble date with a guy. He looked at me up and down and said, "You look different from the pictures. I pictured you more slimmer." To rub salt in the wound, he proclaimed, "I’d rather staple my nutsack than continue this date. Good luck to you," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 300

That one friend who changes once they're in a relationship

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my best friend and my brother are in love. I've been her friend for 10 years, and she’s an absolutely horny whore. She treats me like shit 25/8 now. If I hadn't become friends with her, they wouldn’t have met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 284

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 158

Brave

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 04:01

Today, my husband got home from hospital following a suicide attempt that was a hair's breadth from being successful, and told me he did it because he can’t handle being married, being a father, having responsibilities, then he moved out and refuses to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 199

Oddball

By Fatherless - 24/06/2021 18:00

Today, the guy I’ve been dating told me to lose his number and never see him again all because I told him I grew up without a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 83

Broken heart

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 16:01 - Spain

Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 308

Vibe check: strong crystal mom energy

By me. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 781

You deserved it 4 121

Mind-boggling logistics

By Anika - 23/06/2021 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He married someone, and got another girl pregnant. We were together for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 147

Buffering

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 13:59

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend. After telling him how much I loved him, he asked me to marry him. When I said yes and started crying, he said he wasn't sure if he really wants to get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 116

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 582

You deserved it 5 544

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 3 609

Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 227

Today, when I came home, my dildo was placed in the middle of the bed. I last put it in my drawer. I only live with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 629

You deserved it 450

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 201

You deserved it 3 844

Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 288