Mystery man By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML agreeclassic 66 757 vote type 1 3 985 Share Tweet Share
Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML agreeclassic 1 024 vote type 1 178
Today, I learned that when you tell an employee with anger issues that he’s had too many sick days due to being hungover, there's a high chance you will be hoisted off the ground by your shirt front and thrown into a drainage ditch full of stagnant water and a dead fox. FML agreeclassic 591 vote type 1 100
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML agreeclassic 30 671 vote type 1 3 873
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML agreeclassic 61 445 vote type 1 4 118
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML agreeclassic 5 082 vote type 1 453
Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML agreeclassic 20 180 vote type 1 6 719