Family

Fart wars

By district12 - 18/02/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 960

You deserved it 2 926

WTF Mom?

By Random - 31/01/2012 14:41 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 863

You deserved it 3 305

Outlaw

By me_the_maniak - 12/01/2012 10:14 - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 838

You deserved it 2 458

Cool your jets

By tiredoffamilydinners - 12/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 658

You deserved it 2 555

Drunk twit

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 06:06 - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother, you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 679

You deserved it 44 296

Thoughts and prayers

By bad blood, no shit - 03/12/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 334

You deserved it 3 820

#1 Mom

By whoopsboutthecap - 15/11/2011 12:51 - United States

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 275

You deserved it 3 775

Drunken mess

By bethany - 03/11/2011 17:36 - Australia

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 712

You deserved it 3 577

David Lee Roth approves

By SNBBFF - 25/10/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 4 320

We need to talk

By wtf - 24/10/2011 22:46 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 102

You deserved it 4 965

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 868

Haters

By FlyingWhisps - 27/09/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's OK though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 2 498

All you need is hate

By dev - 28/08/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was at a family reunion, but I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and get it on." My husband turned around. It was my uncle, wearing the same hat as my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 900

You deserved it 40 902

Not this again

By Kurochrome - 18/07/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 281

You deserved it 3 531

Wait!

By jordy1995 - 16/07/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 505

You deserved it 3 255

Get it?

By Jessica - 08/07/2011 00:58 - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 716

You deserved it 3 154

By thanksfyi - 02/07/2011 21:51 - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 4 614

Stuck

By muddygal - 25/06/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 270

You deserved it 3 826

By disfunctionalfamily - 27/04/2011 19:03 - United States

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 882

You deserved it 4 611

Thanks, gran…

By Joe - 03/04/2011 07:33 - Australia

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we got engaged. Her response, "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you." This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 867

You deserved it 3 225

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 546

You deserved it 12 571

Family matters

By smbcolorado - 04/02/2011 22:43 - United States

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 385

You deserved it 4 224

This Charming Man

By PLU - 27/01/2011 00:57 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 978

You deserved it 5 721

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 820

You deserved it 3 802

Festive spirit

By kingkarnie - 12/12/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 2 974

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 402

You deserved it 3 561

By Kristinmarsh08 - 29/10/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply? "I gotta work that day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 369

You deserved it 3 715

Road trip

By fmmlll - 18/10/2010 08:56 - United States

Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 4 094

Let 'em in

By sister_woes - 09/10/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 4 617

Yes we can

By AnnaWusHere - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, my 72 year-old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with homemade signs all day, campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me to ask if she was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 207

You deserved it 4 016

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 576

You deserved it 27 342

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 345

You deserved it 5 153

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 173

You deserved it 3 624

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 038

You deserved it 4 284

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 136

Today, I ran out of my antidepressants, and I cannot get more because my local hospital is closed, and I can't register online because the only way it will let me sign up is over the phone, due to me living in a rural area. I'm mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 186