Cute

Model behavior

By anonymous - 15/04/2013 01:07 - United States - La Pine

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 961

You deserved it 5 179

Homemaker

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Loughborough

Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 380

Rick Astley did nothing wrong

By Rolling with Rick - 27/10/2022 10:00

Today, I was getting my hair dyed in a salon and suddenly 'Never Gonna Give You Up' started playing in the background. Rickrolling isn't common where I live, so I just took some heavy psychic damage while everyone remained blissfully unaware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 811

Friend in need

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 22:00 - Mongolia - Ulan Bator

Today, I'm literally obsessed with one boy. I've been crushing on him for more than a year now and yet he still decided to reject me. I have been rejected like four times by now, so I don't think this is love anymore, it's definitely more like a obsession or something. I've lost so many people just because of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 986

Everyone loves a weepie

By CheeseAndCrackers - 30/04/2020 08:00

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 282

So romantic…

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 05:00

Today, my proposal was slightly ruined when the ring I got her, which I could have sworn was the same size as other rings she owns, was a whole 3 sizes too big. She agreed to marry me but is now sulking because she thinks I think she’s fat and needs a big ring for her fat fingers. Give me a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 183

Cuteness overload

By Cpm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 887

You deserved it 5 221

Seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, you know that cute video of the girl waking up from anaesthesia, seeing her boyfriend and calling him cute even though she’s drugged up? Yeah, good for him. Meanwhile, my husband just woke up from his surgery all drugged up, looked at me, and said, "Ew, Grandma, I thought you were dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 114

All mine

By Happy NOT Father's Day to me? - 17/06/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, I met my ex, whom I have not seen in years, in the airport. She was with a 3 year-old girl who ran to me with open arms, happily saying, "Papa!" Overjoyed, I picked her up, hugging her back, and kissed her. My ex then condescendingly said, "She's NOT yours!" When I asked why, she said, "She calls ALL MEN 'Papa'!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 163

Tinder surprise

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 04:00

Today, a woman turned up uninvited at my house, ready for our first date. After some embarrassed investigating, it turns out my mother signed me up to Tinder and arranged a date, all without telling me, because she refuses to believe I prefer solitude over dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 131

By titoutou222 - 22/10/2011 12:40 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 530

You deserved it 18 627

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 299

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 231

Stacks

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 05:00

Today, and since New Year's Day, my husband has instituted a lateness jar. I have to put £1 in every time my “pissing about getting ready makes us more than 10 minutes late.” I really tried to embarrass him with how empty it would be, but he counted it today. It’s only mid February and it’s already over £100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 125

Funny guy

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 02:00 - United States - Lima

Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 377

Caution flag

By Punishment is coming - 23/04/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands

Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 582

Bad boy

By lukey101 - 27/03/2023 16:00

Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 189

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom - Fulham

Today, my kids and husband brought me a bunch of ornamental cabbages for my birthday, rather than flowers. Why? Because, "you're more of a cabbage sort of person." Ah well, guess it's an improvement on last year when they forgot entirely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 68

Happy birthday?

By Not really - 19/07/2018 15:00

Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 418

You deserved it 1 058

I'm never going to live this down

By BubbleBladeBunz - 01/09/2025 15:00

Today, there's no door between the bathroom and bedroom. So far we've managed all number 2 s(h)ituations without trouble, but I'm on my period, which comes with period poops. He usually sleeps like the dead. I was mid-evacuation of a multi-missile launch when he sat up, wide awake, eye contact, grin on his face. "Hah! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE FIRST!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 112

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 765

Thank you for being there for me

By myboyfriendisweird - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 024

You deserved it 7 056

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 66

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 231

Wisdom

By unsuspcted - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son told me to "grow a pair" and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 37 913

Good boy

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent 45 minutes getting my toddler into a cute outfit for family photos. As soon as we arrived at the photographer's studio, he made direct eye contact with me, pulled off his pants, and ran screaming into the background of someone else's shoot. He's never looked happier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 179

Life hacks for kids

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 500

You deserved it 11 675

Cuteness overload

By friend - 29/06/2012 20:48 - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 3 685

TikTok trending

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 177

Dutch courage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 832

You deserved it 5 031

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Parents Cute Kids Money Geek Ironic Work Books Coworkers Family Roommate Healthy Lifestyle Health Painful Relatable Poopoo peepee Homophobia Weird Scams Transportation Grandparents Proposal Pregnancy Annoying Sexism Teenagers

The Top

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 6 911

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 2 132

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 351

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 7 355

Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 867

Today, my 17 year-old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he overheated, but he still won't take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 7 113