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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 451

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 578

Definite YDI

By ThatWasACloseOne - 17/04/2023 06:00

Today, I was singing the Peaches song from the Mario movie in the kitchen. My wife asked what I was singing, so I told her “It was the song from the Mario movie remember? We saw it together.” She says “No, we didn’t?” Then I realized she’s right. I’d taken my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 3 297

Jumping the gun

By Kelsie - 26/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 2 053

Grandma knows best

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 20:00

Today, I’m beyond pissed off and downright repulsed that my daughter is still in her stupid rebellious phase. it's bad enough that she does shit herself but now she’s involving our grandchildren. She showed up to our annual gathering and my 10 year-old granddaughter had bright purple dyed hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 867

I could be your girlfriend

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 12:00

Today, I hate that my best friend has a boyfriend, who doesn't even treat her right by the way. I could treat her way better, she's all I've ever dreamed of. Too bad she's straight. Too bad I'm straight. I might be in love with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 467

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 505

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 466

Nice try

By BuggerMe - 26/08/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that you can’t lie on a college application and say you’re a first time in college student. My application flagged me as a “transfer student” right before I was supposed to be accepted. Apparently, the financial aid office has a tracking system to see where you attended and received aid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 2 565

Not a sponsored post

By Ew - 10/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 350

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 09:00

Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 650

On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 431

Toot etiquette

By Mama - 22/10/2024 20:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 364

Speech patterns

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 00:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 490

The hangover from hell

By jeannie - 20/09/2023 14:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 932

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 269

Great reference

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 05:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after I'd asked my brother be my reference for a job, he made up some story about a 9-month contract, then the work was done so they told me not to come anymore. My potential new boss told me how big of a liar I was and how it cost me the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 600

Sunscreen season is open

By Anna - 26/03/2025 00:00 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 553

Teaching moment

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 09:00 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to show my little cousin how to ride a bike without training wheels. Not only did I crash into a bush, but the handlebars hit me in the nuts, and I ended up rolling around like a Labrador in shit in front of the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 379

Bing bong beep

By Anonymous - 12/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our son fell asleep with his iPad playing some sort of annoying beeping noise from one of his games. We can hear it in our room and it’s just annoying enough that neither of us can sleep. The iPad is under his body, so if I try to get it he WILL wake up and WON’T go back to sleep tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 665

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 207

Ruined

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 10:00

Today, I let my young son play on my RuneScape account, figuring he was too young to do much more than walk around randomly. I came back to find out he'd somehow gotten into my in-game bank and lost a huge amount of money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 165

Classic

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 531

A whole generation traumatized

By Donna - 06/06/2024 03:00 - United States - Hemet

Today, I have North West's Lion King song stuck in my head. I can even do the choreography. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 389

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked into a conference room for what I thought was my department meeting. It turned out to be a support group for people with anger management issues. They weren't pleased with my suggestion to "calm down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 526

A bit of an overreaction

By lisa - 18/05/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 897

Outclassed

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 16:00

Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 476

Panic!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 12:00

Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 362

You get what you give

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 22:00

Today, to my horror, I discovered that my husband is cheating on me. My friends and family refuse to support me, stating that, "He cheated on his ex-wife with you, what did you expect?" I honestly thought he was my soulmate and that's why I pursued him. Why can't anyone understand that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 219

Wiped out

By myassisburnins - 31/08/2025 18:30 - India - Indore

Today, for the first time in ages, I had to go twice. At noon, after finishing my shit I reached for the jet spray, only to find out that the water was out until morning due to motor maintenance. I ended up using a newspaper. Only review: you guys in America & Europe really have it hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 280

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 062

You deserved it 1 759

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 330

Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 458

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 629

You deserved it 4 754

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 901

You deserved it 6 154

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 118