The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

How many cans did I have last night?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 19:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 435

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 394

You can't say anything anymore

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 06:00 - United States - York

Today, after months of saying I wanted to kill myself, someone finally reported me. I can't go back to school until I see a therapist who has to approve my going back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 798

Technicality

By Anonymous - 09/11/2025 15:00

Today, after years planning our wedding, booking a venue, a DJ, dresses and suits, a limousine, sending invitations, hiring caterers, buying gifts, arranging the honeymoon for the day after the wedding, we did all that flawlessly. What was the one god damn thing we forgot? To book a registrar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 396

Self report

By sore tongue - 01/07/2023 06:00

Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 1 340

Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 358

Introverts can relate

By Trev - 22/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 529

I hate small talk

By billie - 13/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 441

Buffing up

By I hate myself - 02/05/2025 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, after I finally joined a gym, I was feeling pretty good until I attempted to use a machine I'd never seen before. After 10 minutes of awkwardly pressing random buttons and trying to figure out how it worked, the instructor walked over and asked if I needed help. I had been on the rowing machine, trying to use it as a leg press. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 513

You started it!

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I received a text from an unknown number that read, "I love you." Thinking it was my partner being sweet, I responded with a long, sappy message about how much they mean to me. Turns out, it was a wrong number. The person responded with, "Um, thanks but I think you have the wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 535

Something about fish and cats

By ImaDbag - 12/05/2023 10:00

Today, I finally met my dream woman: a smokin’ hot green-eyed petite redhead. Or so I thought. I met her online and “she” turned out to be a 22 year-old guy trolling me. The worst part is that I separated from my wife for this girl. She won’t take me back no matter how much I beg and plead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 4 169

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 2 730

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my friend. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I'd come on the wrong day. Her flight arrived yesterday, so that explains her radio silence for the past two days. I just thought she was in transit, but turns out she's pissed at me and wants me to pay for the Uber ride she had to take home from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 611

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 456

Dial it back

By Only me - 19/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 485

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 476

The cutest

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was getting him the “best surprise ever” for our anniversary. It turns out that we'd had the exact same idea, and bought each other the same pair of matching socks with each other's faces on them. I guess we both got the same damn ad in our Instagram feeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 444

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes searching for my phone while on a call. Turns out, I had absentmindedly put it in the freezer while grabbing a snack. It was frozen solid, but at least I found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 335

Why so serious?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 12:00

Today, I attended my first Zoom meeting as a junior manager. Our CEO said she was feeling dizzy, and if anyone saw her passed out later they should get her some chocolate. Thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. My boss quickly muted us, and told me that the CEO actually has diabetes. Nobody told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 502

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 533

Close call

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I started going over my accounts to change passwords after a massive network breach from Google and Facebook. Obviously my online bank account was going to be my first stop. I then realized that this whole time my online account had 2-factor authentication and I never turned it on. I don't know how my account was never hacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 305

I'm a klutz

By Im so awkward - 12/11/2025 00:00

Today, I saw a woman struggling to hold the elevator. Trying to be helpful, I jumped forward and pressed the “close doors” button, thinking it was “open doors.” The doors shut right in her face. I had to awkwardly ride up ten floors in silence with three witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 352

Signing off

By Kerrie - 05/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 584

You knew the risks…

By Kathie - 22/03/2024 19:00 - United States

Today, I got dumped. This man was my soulmate. His parents don’t like me cause I was his side chick while he was married. I know it was wrong, but the heart wants what it wants. Apparently his parents can’t let bygones be bygones, so now I’m single again and heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 566

New trousers day

By Jill - 11/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I picked out the perfect combination of clothes, making sure everything matched, before heading off to work. As soon as I walked into the office, my coworker asked, “Why are you wearing pajamas?” I had no idea that my "stylish" new pants were actually a pair of super baggy pajama bottoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 465

Friendly friends

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 12:00

Today, I was at a supermarket when I saw a guy waving enthusiastically at me. I waved back, smiling like an idiot. He kept waving, so I waved harder, even giving him the ole finger guns. Then his actual friend walked up behind me, and I realized he wasn’t waving at me at all. The cashier witnessed everything and whispered, “Yikes.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 313

All cars look the same these days

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I hopped into what I thought was my friend’s car, sat down, and started chatting away about the trip to Vegas we were about to hit the road for. After a few moments of awkward silence, I looked up to see a terrified stranger staring at me. I was very close to getting maced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 532

On a loop

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 05:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 549

Smooth

By Chad - 27/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 603

You or the both of you?

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 253

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 189

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 472

You deserved it 3 023

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 796

You deserved it 46 563

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 913

You deserved it 36 868

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 961

You deserved it 13 831

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 074

You deserved it 5 897