The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Holidays in the sun

By ToxicFamily - 05/04/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 369

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 454

Opinions wanted

By isobell1234 - 01/10/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got a 4-hour Saturday detention as a punishment for skipping a regular detention. We had to wear full school uniforms, then sit at our desks in silence and write long boring punishment essays. It was HORRIBLE. I don't think schools should be allowed to detain and punish pupils on a Saturday. Do you agree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 2 075

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so nervous introducing myself to my new team, I actually mispronounced my own name, badly, and now that’s how everyone refers to me, but again, I’m too nervous to correct anyone. It’s been a week already, so correcting them now would be extra weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 552

ADHD life hack

By Jet - 30/11/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new productivity hack of setting multiple alarms to remind me of tasks. Instead, I spent the entire day in a cacophony of alarms, confusing myself to the point where I forgot what I was actually supposed to be doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 578

Calories for days

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 18:00

Today, I've been trying to make the most out of my short vacation by dieting, by eating a big pot of yogurt with lots of fresh fruit every day. Turns out what I thought was yogurt is actually heavy cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 070

Controlling

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Stevenson

Today, my mom took my phone away because of a huge mistake I made, which we need to go to court for. I own the actual phone but they pay for the line. I'm autistic with severe anxiety. I'm also 34 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 665

We don't need no education

By whyisitneverenough - 26/08/2023 08:00

Today, after years of toil and stress, and months of agony and torture, I have received my iGCSE exam results. I passed them all but because I'm a perfectionist and didn't get the highest grades, I feel like crap. Now I'm thinking about how I'll have to go through it all again for A levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 811

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 433

Briefs

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 07:00 - United States

Today, I went to donate some of my old underwear that I never wear and were in too nice a condition to throw in a dumpster. I was given the runaround by two different people who had no clue where the clothes donation box was, until I gave up and finally found it in the opposite direction. That took me an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 364

Shut up and look out

By Bugs - 14/06/2022 04:00

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 474

Ban Zoom meetings

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 520

Sophie's choice

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 15:00

Today, my boyfriend started a six month jail stint. The last thing he gave me was his phone, on which I discovered $30,000 in credit card debt. Why didn’t I go after the guy who went to dental uni? FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 133

Guess who?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 08:00

Today, after I fired a guy two weeks ago for being a lazy ass, I'd put his job out for applicants to apply, I was going to have the interviews. My assistant informed me only one person applied. It was him, applying to get his job back. I had to rehire him because the position needed filling today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 563

Steady on

By Anonymous - 20/10/2023 07:00 - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 601

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 12:00

Today, I was working from home and accidentally turned my camera on when I joined a Zoom meeting, while not wearing pants. I had to pretend I was having technical difficulties to quickly put some on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 754

We've almost all been there

By Jillian - 11/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw someone I thought I knew. I waved enthusiastically and shouted, "Hey!" The person stared blankly at me, so I quickly turned it into a wave at someone else behind them. There was no one behind them. I was just waving and yelling into the void like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 356

It's over

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I took part in India’s giant emergency drill. I hid in a recycling bin for two hours straight. No one ever came to find me. It turns out the drill was only 20 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 422

Balanced

By Anna - 28/04/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 407

Very posh

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 430

The need to vent

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 14:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that the whole time I was rant-texting to my ex's blocked number, he may possibly have been getting all of them, unless he blocked me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 703

Pass the parcel

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 10:59

Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 794

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 423

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 20:00

Today, whilst we were doing the deed, my boyfriend thought it would be super funny to say, "How does it feel to have a teenager inside of you?" He's 18 and I'm 20, with a year and a half between us. Mood RUINED. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 107

So many questions…

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 22/11/2023 18:02 - Canada

Today, I finally got my son to go for a run. He broke his neck 4 months ago and has been playing video games the entire time. I was a competitive runner once and run everyday. He kicked my ass, 21 minutes for the first 5k and he sped up. He was back playing video games when I finally got home. I think I lost a lung on the trails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 640

Bad start

By FTodaymannnnn - 10/09/2025 12:00

Today, I woke up an hour and half late to work, sleeping through nine alarms, then fell and injured my knee going into work. I'd forgotten my work ID and door card, and misplaced my coffee mug. It's only 9 a.m.! FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 272

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 559

Soaked

By Jus' me - 30/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 445

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was colouring countries on a map on my computer whilst listening to music. I was almost done when, whilst swinging my legs to the beat, my leg caught on the computer’s power cord and pulled it out. I was so caught up in the job I hadn’t saved in a while, so all my progress went up in digital smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 366

Tired

By sick of this - 01/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 509

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 838

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 573

You deserved it 2 050

Today, I dumped my boyfriend before school for not putting enough effort into this relationship. He said okay, and then HE WAS WALKING WITH A WHOLE NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 649

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 230

You deserved it 3 024

Today, my smartwatch decided I needed a "stress level" alert during a perfectly calm meeting. It vibrated aggressively, and my boss suggested I take up yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 164

Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 8 937