The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Yeeted it

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Brampton

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 4 596

Get lost

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 405

Woof woof

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 07:00 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 997

Cringe factor 1000

By Busted - 05/03/2023 06:00

Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 5 073

Just my luck

By Nunya - 04/01/2025 01:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after walking on the beach for an hour with a friend, I noticed I'd lost my car keys. Thirty minutes from my friend's house, three hours from mine. It was getting dark & the tide was rising. We retraced our steps with no luck; the keys could’ve been washed away. I'd also locked my keys in the car earlier this week an hour from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 497

Bet!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 21:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I made a bet with my classmate that I would dare to play a weird song in front of the professor. I did, and as promised, she was supposed to give me $20, but she said it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 351

Sherri Wanabee

By Jose - 08/07/2023 03:00

Today, my daughter and her best friend made an elaborate plan that she was kidnapped, causing me to cough up $7000 in ransom money, which I later found out was a hoax. All this because she’s still upset I left her terminally ill mother for my current girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 3 105

Dumbass move

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 00:00

Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 037

One-wat street

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 275

Thanks for coming to my Nerd Talk

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 10:00 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I proudly added a new test to our repository to improve code quality. The test ran as part of the pull request checks… and failed. Now I can’t merge my own pull requests because my own test says I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 253

Canadian or American?

By BIGMOUTHD00D - 18/11/2022 02:00

Today, there was a karaoke at my job's Thanksgiving party. A girl sang and sounded horrible. I later told a colleague about it and said, "She sucked so bad… if I wanted to hear an animal dying, I'd go to a slaughterhouse." She was within earshot and burst into tears. Oh, and she's my boss's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 690

Forgetful

By dtmm - 18/01/2023 10:00

Today, I was listening to music on my Bluetooth wireless headphones, when I put them around my neck to do something. Later, I put them back on to continue listening to my music. Even later on, I was looking for them and couldn't find them. I thought I had lost them, but then realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 780

TMI

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 84

Scarred for life

By Coco - 23/10/2022 10:00

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 2 194

A bit too many Fall vibes

By ppppp - 26/10/2023 20:00

Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 454

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 391

Wank solo

By Anonymous - 06/11/2024 13:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I jacked off out of boredom and loneliness to pictures on Instagram of girls in their hot Halloween costumes, because I'm such a loser that I haven't been invited to a party, and have no one that wants me to go with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 450

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 310

Oh, hai Mark!

By Jill - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 390

Wild child

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 14:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 456

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 419

Totally deserved

By Clap - 22/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out the coworker I was seeing gave me the clap. She resigned two weeks ago and isn’t answering her phone. I can’t blame my wife because she was a virgin when we got married, and has only been with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 6 704

Indeed…

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 05:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 655

The price is right

By Kevin - 06/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 347

Oh Bondage! Up Yours!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 06:00 - France - St-Malo

Today, and ever since I've known her, my girlfriend easily falls asleep if she lies down. We decided to try bondage on our bed, but once laying down she fell asleep. I was the one tied up to the bed frame. When she woke up, I thought it would be funny to say I could stay two more hours like that. She took it seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 591

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 14:00

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 296

Soaking

By Dumbass - 19/11/2022 06:00

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 159

The accidental voyeur

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 22:00

Today, I stayed late at work. While I was getting coffee from the pantry, one of the cleaners came into the break room with her boyfriend, who then proposed marriage. I was reluctant to interfere so I kept quiet, until I clearly heard them start having sex, all while I was trapped clutching my coffee jar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 59

Nice guy #655

By Wasted Man - 02/11/2023 15:00

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 923

Holidays in the sun

By ToxicFamily - 05/04/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 369

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I booked a restaurant and nice hotel for date night. We only get a few hours away from our baby, so we may as well squeeze in sexy time! I told my husband and he was more worried about the awkward early check out than excited for the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 250

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 856

You deserved it 3 598

Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 408

You deserved it 1 801

Today, I had to leave my school's JROTC program because my mother doesn't want me in it, and won't pay for my uniforms. The worst part was the conversation with my Master Sergeant, for whom I have the utmost respect for. He told me, "You're a soldier. Keep your head up." I don't think a soldier would be crying as I am now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 157

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 656

You deserved it 2 881

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 661

You deserved it 19 084