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The all-time greatest FMLs

Performance anxiety

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 20:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I had a presentation for my university class. The bus was 5 minutes late, and I ended up getting to class right on time. As I took a seat, my group was asked to present. I panicked and totally bombed my presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 558

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, I found out this week that I have a growth in my head that could be cancer. I messaged my closest best friend the news straight away, but she has completely ignored my message. It's now been three days and I've not heard a word from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 78

Alexa, play "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 04:00

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 212

Where did you get that from?

By So much wrong - 28/08/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 149

By nothappywithlife - 30/03/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 47

Absolutely disgusting

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 11:00

Today, my boyfriend uses the same thermos mug for everything he drinks; water, coffee, cider, vodka, everything. This afternoon, I looked inside and it was slimy and black in places. I demanded to know when he last washed it. His answer, “Um, when did I buy it?” I can’t kiss him anymore, I feel sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 114

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 3 297

Flattened foot

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mother accused me of being a drama queen when I screamed as she stepped on my foot. I was barefoot and she was wearing boots. One of my toes is swelling and turning purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 93

Enjoy yourself

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 12:00

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees, and her cruise ship fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 72

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 37

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 2 045

Rico Suave

By eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 112

Road safety

By Anonymous - 03/03/2022 08:00 - United States - Nashville

Today, while driving to work, some asshole stopped sharply on the 60 mph highway because he almost hit the car in front of him. Even with maintaining my distance, and slamming on the brakes, I still ruined the front end of my car on his dented bumper. I haven't even had the car for a year, and I'm still the one at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 1 043

By Noname - 06/03/2009 22:20 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 33

Weird and gross

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 22:00

Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 83

Be careful what you wish for

By lordoftheweird - 20/07/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 100

Wild ride

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 23:00

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 75

Coercive freak

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 631

Going nowhere fast

By Shewhoisprobablyafurry - 03/05/2020 02:00

Today, I have a massive crush on a fictional character. Who happens to be an ermine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 204

Stasis

By LonelyGrl98 - 15/04/2024 11:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 228

Real Housewives coded

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 03:30 - India

Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 118

Backstabber!

By Betrayed - 23/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my friend, who is dating an ex of mine, posted a story on her Instagram of their dating history. Met in 2020; First Date: 2021; Became Official: 2022. I introduced them in 2020 and he broke up with the, “It’s not you it’s me” excuse in 2022. I feel like she put a dagger through my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 113

Territorial

By Lost Reggie - 06/11/2024 08:00 - United States - Starkville

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 113

Check out Ember Green on YouTube

By Sad autistic guy - 24/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm tired of people pretending that autism is a great thing to have. I don't feel "great" when I'm hardly able to communicate with other people, crushing my independence, and making me unable to seek help. I just want to be normal, to be able to live on my own. I don't want to be a burden anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 110

But my grandbabies!

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 16:00 - United States - DeWitt

Today, my fiancé and I were having dinner with my parents. My mom asked when we were thinking of having kids. My fiancé cheerfully said, “When pigs fly and Hell freezes over!” He’s right, but I was hoping to break the news a little more gently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 216

On hold no more

By Ghosted - 01/06/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, a guy I was seeing’s father passed away. He’d told me he “needed time to grieve” and he’d reach out when he’s ready to talk again. This was a month ago and haven’t heard from him. I just saw my Instagram feed containing a picture of him and his new girlfriend kissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 111

The situation

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 14:00 - Netherlands - Katwijk aan Zee

Today, I was talking to my situationship when he dropped the bomb that he wanted to break up, and that he'd tested positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 202

Ain't gonna end well

By Anonymous - 02/12/2023 18:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my abusive mom just moved into my house, within two weeks of me losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 148

The Talk

By Ken - 10/05/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 934

Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 18:00

Today, I woke up early to make a good impression at my new job. As I was getting dressed, I noticed my shirt was missing a button. I frantically searched for another shirt, but couldn't find one that looked clean enough. I had to go to work in my buttonless shirt, and spent the entire day feeling embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 411

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 697

You deserved it 19 942

Today, I got written up and may be placed under suspension due to my recent 5 consecutive day unscheduled absence. When I told them I was on a Bereavement Leave, they still will not accept my excuse because its still considered as "unscheduled". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 201

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 377

You deserved it 11 019

Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 114

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in Seventeen Magazine. They were in the "What not to wear" category. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 262

You deserved it 13 429

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 115

You deserved it 12 801