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The all-time greatest FMLs

Equality

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend keeps mentioning how well his new job pays, while I don’t have any income. He then got upset when I expected him to pay for the groceries I got on my way to his new place. What I bought was stuff I needed so I could cook for him, and for me to eat while I’m there, cleaning and fixing stuff for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 316

Is it not your baby as well?

By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 05:03

Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 179

I was right there

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 12:00

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 340

I'm not worth it!

By TheBadGuyDuh - 03/08/2023 14:00

Today, ex-fiancee attempted to off herself because I dumped her for someone else. I’m getting blamed for it. They don’t understand that it wasn’t fair to her for me to string her along when I had feelings for someone else. She did this out her own free will. Yet, I’m the “bad guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 762

Depression 2023

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 22:00 - United States - Providence

Today, I was finally alone for the first time in a year. I thought I'd go to a restaurant, but ended up getting there before they opened. While waiting, I listened to music, only to end up crying for several minutes because I haven't had a girlfriend since 2010, and never will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 302

The grass is never actually greener

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 06:00

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 360

70% less brain power

By RaastadAarseth - 27/07/2023 12:00

Today, I had a very hard and long exam and I was completely prepared for it. I was so confident in my abilities and I'd studied really hard. When I entered the exam hall and took the paper, I realized that I had forgotten to bring my calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 365

The rest of us had already figured this out

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, after reading more FMLs than I'd care to count, I think I've finally realised that the world isn't made up up of mostly competent and intelligent people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 175

I did warn you…

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my mom came to me, hysterically crying that her boyfriend had hit and choked her. I’d feel bad for her except he’s my ex who also beat me, yet when I turned to my mother for help she decided to take him in instead and get pregnant with his kid. What goes around comes around bitch! FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 93

Good one

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 12:00 - United States - Lewisburg

Today, I found out that my friend's adult daughter Renee is actually just him catfishing his friends with actress Jessica Jade Andres's pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 156

Falling down

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 00:01

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 227

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 212

By Anonyme - 26/02/2013 15:16 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I’m on vacation with my boyfriend in Bali. He didn’t want us to take pictures together because, "If we break up, I’ll be bummed to see you on my pictures." FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 72

Luck of the draw

By Jordan - 12/11/2020 05:02 - United States - Herndon

Today, I waited 3 hours and paid $360 to have a routine tuneup done on my old car. As I pulled into my driveway, about to turn off the engine, one of my headlights blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 73

Hard disagree

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 03:00

Today, I told my therapist that I read FML for relaxation and entertainment. She asked what FML is, then told me stop reading this website, as my life is bad enough, knowing other's experiences would actually increase my level of anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 206

I wanna be oppressed so bad

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 10:00 - United States - West Hartford

Today, my stepfather decided he was no longer part of our family, and refused to come to family dinner, all because we're all women, and he isn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 107

Unaware ableist

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I sat outside for a half hour hysterically laughing at this kid next door for constantly mooing like a cow. My mum came out to inform me the kid is severely disabled. I even mooed back at one stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 2 156

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 273

My old buddy

By Rian - 12/08/2023 14:00

Today, I climbed into my junky old car and was pleasantly surprised that the AC came on. I patted the dash and said, "Thanks, buddy." Ten minutes later, as I was tearing down the highway, the engine threw a rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 111

Empty threat

By duck'n'cover!! - 10/08/2023 22:00

Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 153

Projection

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I found out why my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a full-time job, despite us needing the money. He's scared that I'll cheat on him with one of my coworkers, to get back at him for doing it a few years ago. I never knew he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 107

Side effected

By AMDKilla - 18/09/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 102

Close enough

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend got me the awning I wanted for my terrace. Only he ordered it in the wrong material and the wrong size, figuring that anything similar was close enough. Now he's annoyed that he spent so much money and that I want to send it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 169

Preferential treatment

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:03 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom’s house has several comfortable places to rest in every room. For the cats and dogs, that is. Unfortunately for me, I'm a human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 133

Teamwork

By meetingadjourned - 27/07/2023 06:00

Today, I hosted a meeting planned two weeks in advance with my business partners and a new work associate, who was supposed to propose a new business plan. The new associate didn't show up, and hadn't given me a heads-up. He wouldn't answer his phone either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 122

By clementine-f - 10/02/2009 07:11 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend came over, got on his knees and took a small box out of his jacket. Then he narrowed his eyes, and said, “That’s funny, I can see your boogers from here. Anyway, wanna get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 94

OCD FML

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 06:01 - Germany

Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 239

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 1 314

But I neeeeed my things

By ... - 26/11/2022 00:00

Today, after lecturing my daughter about being responsible with her money, she got a package from Amazon. What was in it? A lamp shaped like toast. She already has a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 2 665

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The Top

Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 1 266

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 419

You deserved it 54 362

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 569

You deserved it 3 060

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 79

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 4 823

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 318